biketopia

I am thankful for

2008-11-26T16:19:00.000-08:00

My family, my friends, my dreams, my inspirations, my successes and my failures how else could you learn? I am also thankful for beginings and endings, I am thankful for chance and guidance, I am thankful for my life I'd never want to live anyone elses, I am thankful for those who have taken the time to offer suggestion and criticism, I am thankful for those offering positive reinforcement as well, I am thankful for the kindness of strangers and I am thankful for my ability to be a leader when asked.
I am also thankful for some other things as well like..... Good food, at home or out, beer, wine, limoncello, Rum and pineapple, flaming volcanos, nachos, the fizzy Bubblech!!! amaretto, Jim ,Tony and Ryan's homebrews, none are better..... I am thankful for my artistic talents as feeble as they are I use my tools I have to me best ability, I am thankful for being able to fix plumbing issues in our old house when they arise, I am thankful for smooty's unique companionship, also Kitty's affection, Lilly toolbox's love and ourring and Boo-boo's eccentricities.
I am thankful for lots of things I guess, more than I can list maybe.
have a good holiday.

WTF is with the Eagles, California, Humans, The Philly food banks, armored truck jacking and ghost hunting in cemeteries...

2008-11-17T02:05:00.000-08:00

How can the Eagles be so out of sync with each other. I have been grumbling for years to get another quarterback, Kurt Warner is a much better QB than McNabb is, so why didn't we make a move on him? If Kurt Warner had the receivers that McNabb has I could only imagine how well the Eagles could be doing right now.... wow...
California, or "Gawleafawnya" as the Governator says...hehehe.....is slowly turning into a desert seems inevitable doesn't it? Let it Burn, move away let the fires reshape the landscape, maybe you aren't supposed to live there y'know?...There are other beautiful places to live where you don;t have to hose down your Bently with a garden hose to keep it from going up in Flames.....
Human beings, us have one unifying gene in common. Yeah I know we all have other genes in common also but this one gene is there to bond us together to act as one courteously, selfless and with compassion. For some reason we only trigger this genetic switch when there is a tragedy or hightened level of unity as in an election or catastrophe..... some people utilize this genetic compelling alot of their waking hours others fight it acting aloof or in a poolar opposing way out of selfishness or greed. I challenge you, try being nice to a stranger or go out of your way to do something for someone then think about it, how did it make you fell, how did it aid them, tell me it's not better than going through life being an total idiot.
The Food Banks in Philly are at a critical state! How can people not give something to help? If the new James Bond movie can gross over $70 Million in a fucking weekend uh... you can buy a stranger a turkey or vegetables and donate it to the food bank l;ocal to you... My wife has our kids doing humanitarian acts quarterly, for instance, when Jen went for her Gold award in Girl Scouts she held a haunted house the entry fee was a canned good or packaged food item. She donated over 800 lbs of food for philabundance. We have done this several times over the past year. I'd like to organize a music night or some sort of gathering to gather food for philabundance. Y'know who ever is organizing cross races road races and mountain bike races should ask philabundance to show up at every race to collect canned and packaged goods, everyone could bring something to help someone else right? Maybe getting squeezed off of your line in a MTB race won't be such a thorn in your side if you know you helped a stranger in need. Please get this going.......
To the JERKOFFS WHO ROBBED THE ARMORED TRUCK IN PHILLY you should donate all of that money to an organization to help people, instead of buying drugs, or workboots that'll never see a day of hard labor or ugly sweat suits and lap dances.... You're fucked up and you suck big time. You can kiss my ass up, down and sideways.
Paranormal groups, Help me understand something... why do you people go ghost hunting in a cemetery? That's almost as challenging as going fishing in an aquarium shop for christs sake. If you fail and come up empty handed you should take 2 weeks off then quit forever. Here's a challenge - Ghost hunting in abandoned corporate offices, maybe you'll catch some collusionary conversations or catch a CEO ripping off an old lady for her pocket change, at least that would be useful......
Hey all, peace love and teddy bears, I hate Dave Mathews and I don't care if I spelled his name wrong he's a smelly hippy.

I love my lawn mower

2008-11-06T11:56:00.000-08:00

I bought this off of Craigslist for $60.00. Repainted it, cleaned it up made some adjustments and now ...... it rocks hard......

One

2008-11-05T14:06:00.000-08:00

let me begin this entry on my blog with, I am a republican.. maybe more of a fringe republican with more independent views than any.
The election of Barak Obama may be the true begining of potential world unity. Please I am not naive, but it is a true begining for all of us to relate to each other on a new level.
Though I am a rebublican, I voted for Barak Obama. As I stodd in the voting booth, I prayed, I never pray for anything, anyone who knows me would know I'm not into throwing my eggs all into one basket so to speak... but I, believe in Barak Obama, maybe America will will finally take that next step forward in growth, and I mean growth that we have not experienced just yet. Entrusting our leadership, identity and our future in hands that didn't practice segregation, violent wars and worse yet self agenda.
Maybe it's about all of us globally thinking as one, as we do in our hobbies, sports, community groups, brewfests, bar-b-que cook offs.... it;s all about one thing which I think is unity.
Frank

for what is is worth, Barak Obama is not "black, he's a medium brown, I'm a light olive with some pink, my wife is pink with hints or coral and she tans wondefully, some of my friends have pink and yellow in their skin, some of my best friends and brown and moca, they all have unique traits which makes them special and obviously unique. Barak Obama is not the forst Black president, he;s the first President to appeal to a modernization of global unity in his own unique way.

a new form of terrorism

2008-10-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

Seems that the pool of shady executives in the billionaire or higher millionaire club is vast and deep. I;d have to guess that these theives could be the next high market value pawn in world terrorism, ie old fashioned hostage taking.
But the twist would be disgruntled American home owners or others left hung out to dry by the greedy disgustingly wealthy corporate execs who sold out their fellow countrymen and women all in the name of $$$$.
I'd also have to guess if these guys heads wre on the chopping block literally held for a ransom, their peers and families would rather part with them than their money, because money talks and bullshit walks..... so let the axe fly?
We all suffer when the super wealthy get wealthier and we, wade in our middle class lives as they shower us with more taxation, less security all while expecting us to give more and more and more as we get less and less.
Call it what you will, but we make our lives what they are to an extent. Wecan only build a life with whatever tools we have acess to, if those tools only carry you so far, you have to seek out new tools or make your own so to speak.
My shops bank account was with Sovereign Bank, who is currently in such bad shape they may disapear... disapear.... gone, unless bought out by another sleazy bank.... all in the name of greed and bullshit.
The Mortgage industry has had this coming for about 11 years now from what I have witnessed. As soon as we received notice of our new home value based on the re-assessment in Delaware County the blood drained from my head as I saw my home triple in value...... which I think sucks because it's falsely inflated, nothing more. So, when it came time to take advantage of the then super low (complete bullshit) interest fees for mortgages, It actually cost more money to live in my house..... because it was worth more money.... but to whom?
Nationally this is a problem, a huge problem, bigger than most people can fathom.
It's going to get uglier yet, how ugly remains to be seen.
Oh and I received a letter from Sarah Palin, because I am a registered republican though, I can not in any sensible notion vote for her or John Mcain, I nearly puked when he announced her as his running mate.... but I was already an Obama guy anyway, so the near puking was more out of shock. I was Romney and Huckabee guy from the begining anyway....
So Sarah Palin sends me one of those generated letters asking me for a few G's for her campain right, so I send her a letter back asking her for money back, stating that my party (republican) has let me down immensely and I wish to sell my vote out and withdrawl my affilliations from this point forward... let;s wait and see if she gets back to me... I doubt that she will.... haha..
I hate humanity right now, we are all selfish, greedy and self centered when will we learn this is not the way to continue on, just when?

pat on the back

2008-09-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

So, I received 2 compliments at work regarding the fastidiiousness of my paperwork/papertrail, which I feel is my weakpoint... in life.. I hate paperwork, but if you have to do it why not do it correctly and properly.
I don't like cutting corners in general, so it's not unlike me to take a bit longer to do something than someone else, that is until I get it down then it becomes faster for me. So the guy who handles all of our paperwork at work told one of my managers that I was the only one doing the paperwork properly in my department, great I can't be invisible anymore so I'll just say thanks and do my job cause that's what I am being paid to do after all.
I'm so sore this week it's scary, my ankles are literally almost bringing me to tears, my legs hurt, back hurts everything hurts... my hands are swollen it's freaking crazy.
so it rolls along I guess. I'm just a working stiff now.

training with the frat party

2008-09-18T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have been invited to do a new job at work, sort of one of those lateral moves which brings in more hours or more money. So, I agree to do it. It's where the "cool kids" go to work at my new job. So, of course I have some issues after about 1 week into it which would be last week.... like this for instance.
1.) Everyone there is chummy with the popular manager who is more or less a loud affectionately abusive dildo with a gotee, but deep down he is a sweetheart of a guy, I like him. I just happen to be the oldest guy doing what I do at work and I work as hard or harder than people 1/2 my age. I'm cool with that, weird thing is no one knew I was as old as I am they thought I was more close to their age... so as the days go by, the raunchy stuff starts kicking up, people loosen up with me and all is going mediocre at best. I'm not into being in the cool crowd in the leas bit, I just want to learn my new job and do it well. Problem is, the person assigned to train me is a great worker but not a good trainer, and it sucks for me. He's a short tempered younger guy nice and all. But the way he is training me, it;s like dumping all of your new job duties on a trainee all at once, there is no stage training, no flow to it at all and it's a super critital job that I was invited to do. They have had 3 different people over there in 3 weeks that didn't work out, who were labeled as "douche bags" once they didn't work out... I already am a gi-hugeick douchbag extraordinaire so they'll have to come up with a new term for me when I ask to be moved back to where I was. They applied for the job, I was asked... huge difference. It's like denying a steak dinner from the cheerleading squad , their gonna take it personally. But my strengths are in training and time management but the guy training me has no clue as to how he should go about training me. And today, he got frustrated at me asking him a question. He said something innapropriate which I blew off, then foolowed it up with more garbage as he walked toward the cool kids, then My cork popped and I made sure everyone heard it pop, including our manager. So, starting tomorrow the manager will be training me, but I may want to move away from this group mainly because I don't believe that they have the best interest of evryone in mind. They work hard, frankly I don't remember when I have worked physically harder but it's more of an attitude thing I'm not into. I was happy doing what I was doing for the time and maybe should have stayed where I was for the time being.
I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm not into clicks or being cool at all, of anything I avoid that stuff like the plague and do my own thing. I don't always believe the term "safety in numbers" especially when it comes down to a job like the one I have now.
So, getting up 2:00 am for work is fun and all, and I enjoy it, but I gotta opt out of this position I am in asap unless they change how I am being trained. If I opt out, I get to sleep in until 2:15am... sweet.

how to retire your bike shorts

2008-09-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's just time to throw in the Chamoise or in essense throw in the towel regarding a pair of bike shorts.
When they cease to assist you by offering releif from your mission of perrineum abuse all in the name of physical fitness or transportation or leisure. I have some shorts that'll never have the pleasure of being oh so close to me ever again.
Namely my biketopia louis garneau shorts. I didn;t like the chamoise when they arrived and I like it even less now. There was never any "POOF" with them in the first place and now, thers' even less if at all possible. After yesterdays impending near cataclysmic experiences I was off of my saddle every once in a while to stop the burning that ensued especially n the right side of the area between my thigh and groin north of my right testical.
So, in an all spirited bellow of resistance I
m shouting out a loud and clear, "FUCK THAT!" and will retire all black yellow and torquiose shorts and skinsuits from here onward.
I favor the voler stuff more anyway, it's alot nicer and has more poof, i like poof, i like comfort i like things that draw my attention except for my own undoing...
bye bye LG.

why I never leave my bike unattended

2008-09-08T07:24:00.000-07:00

Cause dudes like this knucklehead roam our friendly streets...... but it is funny though.
http://teabagsontoptubes.wordpress.com/

NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR ANTI NUDITY FOLKS!

I just wanted to break in my shoes....... but...

2008-09-07T14:35:00.000-07:00

it's 4:15 am on a Sunday morning and I already have 3 cups of coffee in me so, I pulled a pair of shoes out of the closet that I bought about 5 years ago,a pair I have never worn, Lake MX80... all black w/laces, w/with a velcro lace cover and fixing strap, size 43 wide, by industry standards... or so the industry says... which is sort of bullshit for my feet.
I tried to put them on this morning at 4:18 I couldn;t even get my right foot in the shoe, my instep is really high...o.k. let's try the left foot, it goes in but feels like a clown car stiffed with drunken clowns trying to fight for space... if you can imagine something as grotesque as that.
so, I pry it off and place them aside and youtube some shoe stretching videos so I know what to basically do... at about 8:00 I start digging in our bedroom closet for my cedar shoe things, whatever they're called, which look absolutely nothing like my feet so, after some genius level Euro-trash ingenuity, I magage to shred a paper grocery bag into strips which I folded to tape to my cedar shoe things, then I wrapped more tape onto it to recreat the actual shape of my foot.. or something that'll help me out....
So, I go into the kitchen with both shoes in hand and fill one of the sink bowls up with really hot water, enough water to drown a few clowns actually... so in the shoes go laces and all.... I soak them for about an hour, they are soaked and heavy... In take my newly shaped shoe things and literally cram them into the saturated shoes.. the slowly go in with no damage to the shoes which means they;re tough.. good....I let them sit for about another 3 hours then I get out my heat gun and gently warm them up focusing on the toe box where after watching the youtube videos will now and forever refer to as Global volume area.... sweet.. I need global fucking volume for my feet that's bitchiin'.....
Once they're dry enough fpr me to put on and cooled off from the heat gun I... put them on and laced them up ad they felt like they were custom made for me..... I amost fucking cried, no shit.... literally.. So, I decided to go for a ride.
It was now 11:45 I convinced Pam I needed a lift to the Mann then departed on a nice 3-ish hour cross ride with new shoes keeping my cellphone close by incase my right foot decided to cry Mutiny on me...
It never did, infact my feet have never felt less focused on in about 25 years.. but my neck was killing me, jesus H, wow after about 2 hours of cruising in a toddly gearwaiting for the axe to drop on my feet/day being passed by squeaky Huffy riders and crazy people on roller blades and some little awesome bastard on training wheels.. I decided to do some cross workout stuff. So I turned around somewhere in western Roxborough or Plymouth Meeting maybe, I headed toward the Art Museum on the Bike Path.. which I should not have done because it must have been Give a free pass to a douche bag day, or Let'e let the insane recreationalists out of sedintary cinfinement for a couple of hours to fill up the emergency rooms with people who can;t pay attentioin to what;s infront of them....
I avoided and I'm not exaggerating 4 near death experiences, one of them with someone in a car getting what looked like to me, a realy good blowjob.. I banged on his hood so fucking hard the Fellater picked her headso fast she almost knocked the lucky bastard by cracking him in the teeth with the back of her head.. he bit his lip so hard it was bleeding all over his car and white basketball shorts....
I, not so surprisingly stopped as he stopped and shouted "Wake up fuck head, not all of us are getting road head today!!"
Then I rode off after he put his hand up in a sorry gesture. That was good for some adrfenalin which got me back to the kelly drive sector of the bike path, also it aided me in bunnyhopping a skateboard which before I had to bunny hop it, I think it was being ridden by some kids dad, but the kid seemed to have swerved infront of his dad to avoid a rollerblader (smart kid actually) but unfirtunately clipped his pop in the process. The roller blader was trying to plead his case but thefather couldn;t hear him because his hands were around the rollerbladers throat... another good move, must be a smart family.
So, I bunnyhop a what loked like really nice long board from what I could see as I sailed over it, I hear ticking after I land.... I ignore it..more ticking, more ticking.. then some panting.... I seem to have picked up a dog, an ugly dog that has a fetish for running close to people on cyclocross bikes and he was looking at me and not where he was going.. so, I stop, ask him if he's lost.. he looks at me as if I'm some new breed of dumbass, then I ask him if he;s thirsty, y'know, based on the froth that had built up around his mouth and what was flung onto his forehead... he wags his tail.. hey a response, great I'm now a dog wisperer....so he drinks my entire and only water bittle which was tucked into my middle back pocket (no bottles on the cross.... bottle cages on a cross bike means you're a neophyte douche crosser... I'm no neophyte but I am a titanic douch) so I ask mr doggy where he lives, then say to myself, wow I'm talking to a fucking dog....nice... so I turn around and head back toward where ai had heard the ticking starting whhich was near falls bridge, I pass the ensuing and ending of a near beatdown by an old skater dad and a roller boogie douche bag, avoid the skate board and the dog takes a right turn and heads off.... I guess he just wanted a drink?... maybe he;s done this before knowing people on bikes who wear funny clothes always have water somewhere.... o.k. cool, that's an awesome dog... I decide on not negotiating the skater disco brawl and head toward the other side of the drives and onward toward my secret workout area at the art museum........I'm spinning along and begin to believe I have picked up some LSD somewhere along my ride, because here comes a fucking tandem recumbant right at me...... I narrowly avoid the double trouble senior tandem brigade and head onward... dunno how we almost became best friends being no one else was anywhere near us.... they came from the other side of the road to stay in the shade and I somehow got in their way.....o.k.
I arrive at my destination, stop, stretch, burp, refill my bottle and roll into my workout. I run up the grassy hill after a semi-smooth dismount with new cleats and new shoes.. o.k. cool.. it;s back on the bike and down the steep steps despite the horror ad verbal shock of onlookers and some dude from action news aiming a camera at me.. I boink-a-doink down the steps and back around to my run up.. well, jog... then walk up.. which after 45 minutes turned into nearly a walk then throw up section....I'm so stupid..... The action news guy kept his camera on me I think... Initially though someone was going to call the cops on me but decided that wasn;t going to happen because there were bigger assholes then me racing wagons down the back entrance driveway of the art museum.. the cops would be forced to nab those silly bastards first, besides I was working out..... so after a solid 45 minutes of near death physical exertions it was time to Call Pam and beg for a ride home, y'know 'cause I'm a total Lamo.. we agree to meet where she dropped me off which meant I had to cimb a short hill to get there, fuck I should have started whining or faked ouking over the phone... but decided against it being Pam would know I was bullshitting her for a ride...
So, it's back up east river drive toward sweet brair cut off and up the 1/4 mile hill.. shit that hurt, I am so lame I almost started serpentining to get up it I was blown to the core from doing the runup things I do I almost started crying for the second time today..... sweet....
Pam picked me up and handed me a hot sausage sandwich... She's awesome. Then she asks how my ride was, I Lied my ass of and told her it was o.k. but told her about the dog because he was a highlight for me today...
my feet feel great, so it's back down to the art museum for a night picnic with Pam. We're bring chicken some veggies and Bubbles and some smiles....

the return of a legend

2008-08-25T17:19:00.001-07:00

Seems as though Cinelli has finally heard enough moaning and groaning from those of us who shun technology in the saddle arena...... meaning we like what we like and when they are all gone, we're literally and figuratively possibly fucked. I was dreading the day when my last unicanitor saddle would become a paper weight, no longer a useable quality bicycle part and body mate to my bike, I was dreading that day.... I have 2 left one on my cross bike and one on my road bike which sees time between my single speed.....
Well, Cinelli has brought it back, I haven't found any other info on these saddles except for a few pictures and a release date which is sometime in october.
If they stay true to their school and make them as good as they did in the 70's and 80's then i'd be suspect and throw in a guess as Cinelli will win comeback cycling company of the millenium. I don;t want to sound like a total retro douch, or more so then I already am aware of anyway but, these saddles are all I can personally deal with between my legs on a bike. Needless to say I for one am glad of their return and will horde a few, mostly because I feel it will be a shortlived run.
I've noticed through my picture perusing of pro races over the years, and also took notice when I raced on a high level that a few unicanitor rangers were out there and still are apparently. one of the riders from Liquigas actually spray paints his unicanitor to match his sponsors saddles... crafty racer, I'm not giving his name either, just check out some pictures and you'll notice the distinctive shape and it's shorter length and how the paint is wearing off.... it's funny in a way.
The only other person I know of in our region or area who rocks the unicanitor is Yozell, but last cross season I saw him on what I feel was a horrid example of a bicycle seat made by another italian company... I asked him how it felt and he just retorted blandly, "eh, it's allright I guess.. you got any extra unicanitors?" If I did I would give him one and he knows it... haha...but he still has one on his fisher rig.
I tried a fizik nisene n my ss for a few weeks, and I felt like I was cheating on my unicanitor with an ugly implant festooned floosy, a dime a dozen so to speak.. I took it off and I am gonna give it to fitzy cause he likes that seat.

Weber

2008-08-24T12:04:00.000-07:00

I love my Weber Grill, I love grilling things, but what I love most about it smoking food with it. Vegies, Meats, Fruit.... it's awesome.
See the secret to smoking things on a traditional weber grill is simple. Use hardwood charcoal not much of it and then place which ever hardwood you want to incorporate into the item(s)you are smoking, as the smoke decreases add either a few new hunks of hardwood charcoal or wood. Remember to only use one side of the grill for your heat so as not to over heat/overcook your food. Also place the grill top with the vent over the items you are smoking so as to draw the smoke across them, thus into them. When I smoke meats I make a basting or mopping sauce so I can trap moisture sinde of the meat which hangs onto the smoke that penetrates the meat.
For instance I am smoking a boneless bottom round rump roast, which I marinated in olive oil/garlic/salt and pepper.
Then placed it into the weber fat side down, then gave it a mopping with a basting sauce I made up which is, soy sauce/garlic/chili powder/tumeric/balsamic vinegar/salt/pepper/olive oil/tomato paste and hot mustard. The basting sauce traps the smoke also and as it reduces down it forces the smoke into the meat..it's pretty scientific and borderline genius.
When this is complete I will take it to the grocery store and have them slice it really thin into lunchmeat for us.....

Immortal

2008-08-13T16:50:00.000-07:00

Jellyfish, a certain type of jellyfish are essentially immortal. they posess the ability to "regenerate" at will or on command so to speak. They activate a gene in their dna that enables them to regrow if injured, cut in half, or thrown into a blender.... yep, throw one into a blender and it will grow several thousand new ones..... amazing, literally amazing. Scientists are researching how to potentially use their active ability.
Human beings ironically posess this exact same gene, though our Gene which would allow us to regenerate at will is "inactive" in scientific terminology, simply meaning we are unable to turn it on at will, or are unable to use it presently and for good reason. Speculation has been brewing for several hundred years regarding people who have been able to tap into this genetic ability, for instance a man in indonesia was caught stealing, his punishment was cutting off his left arm. Off it was, then he was banished from his village only to return 9 years later having regrown a new arm..... I guess it coud happen no? We do posess this gene to keep us alive for ever to assumingly live in harmony on our planet, with each other all for each others benefit as a society or, as one.... in theory. Our ability to not activate this gene is for now a good choice of nature.

I'm a douche, you're a douche let's be douchy together

2008-08-12T00:58:00.000-07:00

went out at 8:15 for a spin on the cross bike, nothing heavy. I had planned on just toodling around down by the art museum, do some dismounts run a little here and there next to the river keep it on the down low so to speak. I could really feel the weight I have lost when just knuckleheading around, I haven't been this weight in almost 8 years, I feel much more smooth when running especially. I felt invigorated the entire 1 1/2 hours I was down there. Did a few carries and tried a new dismount which is genius but I can;t quite get it, maybe I'll switch to my smaller cross frame which would make it easier, in fact I may switch anyway because last season I kept going shorter and shorter with my stem, so rather than ride the 54.5cm frame I'll go down to the 52.5, we'll see. I gotta confess though, I love my cyclocross bike so much it's almost perverted, I mean really..... Cyclocross is in a way a fetish of sorts being it's dare I say still an underground sport or activity, the people who participate in it are basically masochistic self-abusers, show up in hordes when the weather is slated to be totally shitty which guarantees that the fair-weather self flagellators won't be there, taunt each other into going harder and harder, don't mind puking so much, they look absolutely ridiculous in their outfits but share pride in their freak-show kindred, yell encouragement to all especially the lowly struggling ones who are about to die in the name of cross, as to, motivate them further into intergalactical levels of indescribable pain and humilliation and lastly, look forward to doing it all over again.........that's perverted and it's pretty awesome. Now please do not misunderstand me here, I am no cross guru, I am easing back into it each year taking my lumps as I can, after all a man can only take ramming his own bike seat literally up his ass so many times before you throw in the towel in a 4 month period, after all why jump off a perfectly good bicycle then jump back on and hurt your huevos y'know? sheesh it's perverted and it's insanely great. But I must back pedal and admit I don;t remember any of it hurting as much as it does now almost 20 years ago, so... whatever right?
So, a fatty traded road-ish bike is uncommon on the bike path areas in philly, which is expected and welcomed after all these bikes are dangerous goods in the hands of the wrong people, with the advent of "newer price points" in the road bike market cyclists who grew sick of their mongo fat tired bikes can now ride their gaunt cousin, the road bike... again in the biggest gear it has at like 30rpms in baggy t-shirts and running shorts and sneakers.... or better yet, skinny jeans with non functional white belts t-shirts that are painfully small, and shoes that look like they were stolen from George Michaels wardrobe mostly chugging along huffing a 50X12 and glare at you as you (well, me actually) spin along in your (my....) 34X23 (I'm fucking lazy.... try it sometime) because they still don't get the bike thing, or maybe they are trying to hard to get it. So, here's a suggestion or 2.
1.) Ride your bike because you like to, loose the agenda, agenda's are for idiots who race, life is competitive enough stop and smell the flowers, just remember which foot you have to clip out of your new clipless pedals so as not to fall over on the bike path.. especially in front of a group of douchy racers who own the path anyway... hahaha... yeah, whatever eat it you know it's true....
2.) Use the gears your bike came with, after all you paid for all 18/20/27 or 30 of them, why just punish the biggest one, those little guys are there for some attention also, so have at em.
3.) Smile, it's a nice day when you are out on your bike doing anything, leave that scowl on the treadmill peoples.

bike frames for sale!

2008-08-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

3 Frames priced to go.
1.) Used On-One Inbred 26 single speed MTB frame , 18" Frame, White. Used for about 5 months, in great shape.
2.) New 2006, Jamis Exile 26 Flat Black, 19" Frame, Brand new.
3.) 2006 Jamis Ventura Comp, Dark Silver, Carbon Seat Stays, 54cm. New.
None of these bikes have forks, these are frames only, selling all three for $375.00 or Individually for $150.00 each.

For Sale

2008-08-11T13:47:00.000-07:00

I'm selling a parts washer that saw maybe 4 months of light duty, then I stored it in the basement because I needed the space. New, these go for over $2,300.00 shipping not included. So, someone make me a good offer, I will deliver it within a reasonable distance.

My Favorite scene of TDK?

2008-08-08T13:11:00.000-07:00

When Batman surprises the Joker from behind at an interrogatiion session, slams his head onto the metal table in front of him and the Joker say, "ooooowwww... not the best way to start off.." then laughs at batman's outburst egging him further down to the jokers level.... one of the best scenes in moviedom.......

movie review #7

2008-08-08T12:55:00.000-07:00

Pam, Melissa and Miranda went to see the dark knight last week at the Narberth theater.
I've been a Heath fan for a few years now, I wish he would have gotten the Skywalker role years ago, but after reading the script he declined commenting, "It didn;t seen very villainous to me"... I agree, Anakin could have been portrayed much more volatile if what's his face could act. Like when Anakin would get pissed it felt more like a spoiled mommy's boy wanted his way, rather than anger manifesting itself in sheer universal domination..... Heath would have just crushed everyone around him.... like he did in dark knight.
Heath's performance alone was riveting it made the other snippets of dailogue and explosions seem plastic and not up to his level. When that happens you have something beyond mega stardom brewing, as was the original starwars, it just connects a certain way so to speak.
I would have liked to see how Heath's Joker came to fruition or spawned maybe. But, I'm satisfied with the movie overall. I had read the book about 14 years ago and was stunned at how brooding batman was, then put off at how not brooding he is/was in the movies thus far..
Well, R.I.P. Heath I say hang the Olsen Twins they suck broken glass covered bananas anyway.... Oh wait, isn;t Lance hitting one of them?... ew....... weird and beyond gagging........well, have at it Lance.. whatever it is you frigging freakazoid......
keep on keepin on.

rebuild

2008-08-08T10:19:00.000-07:00

rebuilt my cross bike this morning after work. I soent 2 days looking for a front deraillure clamp for my braze on deraillure.... doh!....I found it and placed it aside..... but forgot where I placed it, nice, I found it though.
all of the handlebar tape I had at the shop is still MIA so, I rewrapped the salsa that was on there, it's really beat to say the least. So, new tape will have to go on soon, or I'll be sliding off in the rain. BIke feels great, so, if all goes well today with some appointments I have to meet, I may go for an evening spin downtown or try and find blue bell hill for future cross practice.
Cleaning a cyclocross bike is wayyyy more trime consuming than cleaning a mountain bike... holy cats!, a few new cables and lots of toothbrush time, some windex, lube here and there and all is well.

the escalator of life

2008-08-06T16:48:00.000-07:00

Life has it'sups and downs for sure, an old friend, and musical icon who'm I played with, Robert Hazzard has suddenly died of pancreatic Cancer...Robert was a nice man, very innovative, cagey, genuine...... he once told me after a show I played with him with a broken collarbone, that I was in my own place and pulling us along.... well, I may have been, pain killers do that.. but so does rock and roll...
Robert, I love you old friend, thanks for the hot lights and shoulder bumps onstage, sleep peacefully.

cyclocross is near, cyclocross is near!!!

2008-08-03T17:48:00.000-07:00

gotta start getting in some time on the cross bike, so it's repair time tomorrow on the cross bike....
Maybe Fatty McFatfat will allow me to blow chunnks on the sacred training ground of crossdom......

And so it goes

2008-08-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

I closed my shop the last day of July. Biketopia as a neighborhood bicycle shop will not exist beyond beyond July 31, 2008.
Here's why;
1.) I refused to pump money into a business that loses money every year.
2.) I didn;t want to renew a lease with a landlord who was lazy unattentive and irresponsible, an example would be that I didn;t have heat for.. 3 years, I had it fixed and it only cost $57.00 and 1/2 hour to warm the blood in my veins without plugging in a dangerous space heater.. or 2..and yes I faithfully paid my momthly rent on time all while not having heat. His defense... I should have reminded him more frequently because he forgot.
3.) My basement filled up with abandoned unwanted bikes that customers dropped off for repair.... and never picked up, I was basically out of room, though ironically when I closed I suddenly drew attention to these abandoned bikes some of them in my basement for.. 4 years.... anything sitting longer than 1 year were placed at the curb and hopefully taken to a good home.
4.) I want to spend my time making my own frames, something I enjoy. Oh by the way, I can weld a little.
5.) I landed a great job, one where I can utilize my team building skills, group organization, work at a fast pace, think on my feet and pay my bills.
6.) I had no time to ride... at all... now, I do.
7.) I was always stressed out about well, stupid bullshit... now, I'm not.
8.) I was tired of being the brunt of people personal problems. for Instance My wife and I went to buy a new washing machine because our awesome teenaged daughters broke another washer... hahahaha, yes another. so this time we went nuclear with the samsung VRT which is basically R2D2 with a killer spin cycle... anyway while making the rounds we stopped into a privately owned appliance store and waited 20 minutes as a woman destroyed the owner over $25.00 because the washer was a floor model... I almost punched her in her fat face knowing that guy needs that $25.00 so I opted out and we left for best buy, where we got the washer we wanted without listening to some pile abuse what I observed to be a nice business owner. It made me really upset, even my wife got twisted by what we witnessed.
9.) I miss riding and racing with my friends.
10.) My health was deteriorating due to bullshit stress. To give you an example I recently went to a party for Jen and Andy who are getting married and 3 of my team members didn't recognize me, because they've been looking at someone I was begining to not recognize.... they were essentially speechless, Andy particularly as I handed him a beer as I stood over a cooler he asked me if he knoew me.... then has a cow after a huge pause and one of those "Oh my god dude, you look totally different, you really look different" Even my skin looks healthier.
11.) my wife likes me now, instead of tolerating me being a bike shop owner....

--------------------------------------------
Smooty has come home with me, so have the fish. Smooty is how do I say this, Smooty has a girlfriend named boo-boo or who I call Floop-floop. The other 2 cats are sort of amazed that Smooty is a cat, he's on the gargantuan side for being a cat. He plays with Lilly, has sex with Boo-boo and is terrified of Kitty....
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The Fish are well, they're fish... umm they swim eat and shit...
-------------------------------------------- pics of how my backyard and garage look now are coming so stop back.

Eye doctor appt.

2008-07-04T04:51:00.000-07:00

Went to the eye doctor earlier this week for an overdue check up. TFin, hooked me up with Dr. Donna who was especially nice and very thorough in her examination. I ran through my list of head injuries before the exam began as she stared at me unblinking then as I ended my banter all sge has to say was a brief, "oh gosh"
To make a long story short, I have quite a bit of injury induced damage to my left eye. Also, some general farsightedness, but if my arms were longer I'd be fine y'know? hahah... I have an earl;y stage catact developing in my left eye and also f;oaters whatever they are. She said I have something that begins with a "F" I can;t remember what it's called.
So, she dilated my eyes, saw some minimal retina damage on my left eye, nothing to worry about really.

Our Family Garden

2008-06-25T03:54:00.000-07:00

here is our Garden, a variety of tomato, squash, cucumber, zucchini, hot pepper, bell pepper, red and yellow beets, bib lettuce, spinach, string bean, and a potato bin of russett and red bliss. We also have in individual planter pots, peppermint, spearmint, dill, oregano, lemon thyme, cilantro, basil, parsley, rosemary, lavender and a dwarf fig tree. Next year I'd like to add more raised beds to grow more squash and a variety of beans. I;d also like to try my hand at growing kale and cauliflower.

Beer and Sharpies

2008-06-20T11:57:00.000-07:00

yeah....a little beer, 2 Sharpies hey who knows, y'know?
out of boredom and drunkdom comes my own slice of peasant art.....

3am

2008-06-19T15:46:00.000-07:00

3am comes around and I am awakened by one of the cats, she's purring and kneading my throat... I wake up pet the cat, and call out, "c'mon bud, let's go for a walk" I get out of bed throw on some clothes go down stairs and grab Elvis's collar and wait for him...... sadly I suddenly realize he wasn't here, I had forgotten he is gone. Here I was standing in the entranceway with his blue collar in my hand and cats dancing around me taking swipes at each other trying to see who'll get my attention...I sit down on the stairs and it starts. I'm crying, then gagging I'm crying so hard, the tears are really heavy I am choking and coughing and crying. The cats are in a line staring at me taking turns slowly blinking at me, which from what I have read is a sign of serenity, sometimes cats do that to each other it's sort of a universal "Hey, it's cool it'll be alright" that cats offer to each toher and... us.
No one is home, my wife and kids are camping in Assateage Maryland on the beach, a girlscout outing... fun stuff indeed.
I'm home alone with self centered cats crying about my dog sitting on my staircase crying with his collar in my hand. I stop crying but tears are flowing and falling on the stairs as sit and watch the cats, all in a lin facing me slowly blinking at me then each other as if to acknowledge, "o.k. it's not about us for a minute, let's show whatever that thing is some love" (the thing being me) as if on cue, Elvis's picture falls off of the wall into my lap, then the cats all come at me at once gently, first Jen's cat BooBoo touches me with her face which is wayyy out of the ordinary, she won;t ever let me near her.. ever.. then Lilly who was Elvis's best buddy, she;d knead him, sleep with him and overall entertain herself with him in some way, after a walk she;d ambush him in the entrance way then run away, i'd say she loved him and felt a deep affection for him in some way.. then Kitty came over to me and put her paws on my leg next to Elvi's picture. I looked at her feet then the pcture of elvis then Kitty face, I started to well up again and blabbered an "I love you guys" to the cats, The Kitty ekked a meow at me and took a swipe at Lilly who was amusing herself with Kitty's tail, then BooBoo jumps over both of them and lands sideways all puffed up for some reason, Lilly then goes after BooBoo and all hell is breaking loose. I just laugh as I am now crying and look at Elvis's picture and think to myself WTF is wrong with these cats, jeez they're wacko...I wipe my tears, rehang Elvis's picture and go back to bed. I lay awke until about 4:30am then woke up at 6:30 made some coffee and enjoyed my morning.
I seemed to nonchalantly write another song while drinking my coffee this morning, a nice slow reggae tune I will title, "Hold On." I finish it up in a few days.
Thanks for all of the support regarding Elvis, it's nice to know that compassion is alive and kicking in the world of blogging.
best.

morning errand run and coffee time

2008-06-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

woke up early, grabbed a cup of coffee and headed down to waterworks in philly to watch the sun come up and enjoy a first k9 free day in I don't know how many years. Needless to say, everydog who trotted past me had to stop and snif me and lick my face as if to say, "Hello bud, keep your chin up we feel ya.." which was nice, even the owners were sweet as sugar. So with coffee in hand and the sun breaking the morning cobwebs, I headed out for a lap around the drives to take some pictures of specific flowers abloom at this time of late spring.
1/2 mile up the east river drive I come up on a huge group of "fixie hipsters"
who seemed to be in some sort of buffalo pack dissaray with no one leading the way up the bike path. I was pretty much hauling ass on the 46X13 I hsve on the cruiser and with a nice open lane to their leftI followed another cyclist about 40 yards in front of me. As he was clearing the group suddenly one of the fixie hipsters started sprinting after him, pulled in front of him and did one of those annoying skids that they love to do... and did one of the most jackass inspired endos I've ever seen... the guy in front of me didn't say a peep he just gazed at the guy as he spun by shaking his head, as the hipster laid out in a total yardsale u-lock out of his special pocket, bike chain around his thighs not around his waust, his beret was on the ground next to what looked like used to be a tattoo on his forearm but was now stuck in the blacktop of the bike path... I slowed down and asked him if he was o.k. he just looked at me and sharugged a whatever at me...I said yeah, good luck with that and rode off toward my destination. On my way back they were still there but now there were cops there too. I slowed down because one of the cops asked waved me over to him, and asked what I was doing. After explaiing my morning he filled me in on what was going on, well apparently the fixie hipsters were trying to provoke bike drag races and wreckless behavior so someone called the cops on them after one of them skidded into an on coming commuter causing him to crash....

I shared my that sucks verbism with the officer who laughed as one of them suddenly broke out into a robot dance thing "serving" one of his brethren... on the bike path....Then one of the officers had enough, he told them either leave the recreation path or be arrested for disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance.... I was in agreement, there is plenty of grassy areas to serve each other next to the path....
fun morning though, nice cool weather today really crisp and lively..

The stranger cometh and leavith with thy name-ith

2008-06-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

I'm no friggin' Shakespeare, and I can live with that, actually i wade contently in my bath that is the catastrophy I call grammatic elegence or free-form-spew. I happily go to and fro between topics, thoughts, questions dreaming... whatever y'know. So in comes a stranger to the shop, happens everyday and she introduces herself asks me some questions about her bike that's in her garage we chit-chat she's a nice person one of those people you're comfortable around instantly. Then she fesses up she reads my blog... i'm thinking oh-no she's gonna hammer me about something I posted a viewpoint or other topic I have mangled in the past. Contrary though, she did the opposite but did agree with my confessed ineptitude when it comes down to writing, she basically said I was a class A maladroit with words, explaining I was akin to a stray dog just meandering all over the place on one huhge stream of consciousness babble..... I laughed and agreed, that's me. So she continued onward about how she reads my blog and others locally she;s from Narberth and now works and lives in Iceland but is stateside visiting her parents with her husband and 2 kids. Explaining when they first moved to Iceland they found a stray dog with a peirced ear, or more or less were found by the stray dog while moving into their house. Neighbors told them the dog was the neighborhood stray and once belonged to a fisherman( I didn;t know they had neighborhoods in Iceland, so I was fascinated....) they took him in and named him Frankie because it fit in a way. While websurfing havertown things from iceland one evening she somehow stumbled onto my crappy blog and saw a picture of me and woke her husband up to show him that she found her dogs doppleganger twin... me. She then bantered on about she read my post about not having a nickname which was not a rant but more or less a curiosity of mine, y'know how can someone go through their entire life without a nickname ever...? Well that's probablly me haha....
she liked that post apparently and decided I needed a name, Stray. I didn't agree I'm used to being just Frank, but she pushed it explaining why. physical features I wear comfortable clothes meaning I am dirty most of the time, I'm always picking my nose or scratching something inapropriate, I do my thing not what everyone else is doing, I oly get haircuts when someone almost ties me down for a clipping, I'm pretty beat up, full of scars and such, my weight fluctuates, I'm at home alone playing by myself, I dream alot, I chase cars, I like dogs and dogs really like me for some reason, my hair goes 40 different directions all of the time and looks like a mess, at one time was someones pride and joy but rumor has it that "Frankie" was a fishing dog who lived on a boat with a pirate flag of sorts, with a fisherman who went out one day and didn;t come back, but the dog swam to shore and stayed in the area surviving, an interesting story to me indeed.
So, in finality I look exactly like her dog, which is some sort of weird fishing dog with blue eyes, unkempt curly black and grey hair, wears an earing, has big ears huge paws a funny tail, who for some reason or other loves reggae music and paws at her husbands guitar amusing itself for hours on end. Then I realized o.k. my twin is a stray thing-a-muhjiggy dog from iceland who is ugly like me, is dirty, loves reggae, pays the guitar and has some sort of past that is a mystery of sorts but nonetheless worthy of a story.
Life is strange, I look like a caveman, stray dog with a peirced ear who plays the guitar, loves reggae and is devoted to his family once left to fend for itself in a cruel world only to be taken into a house full of love.... o.k. Stray it is.

the big bang, where did it occur?

2008-06-17T07:03:00.000-07:00

If you know me, you know that I love science, astronomy, math and theoretical logic. Combine those interests with a sense of wariness, curiosity and drive and you've basically got a cosmic pain in the ass like me.
NO, I'm not a ufo gazoinker, though I do believe in life elsewhere in our solar system. My question, is where?
If Science is hard pressed to argue their big bang theory making it make sense with adjusted algorithyms and protagonistic mathematics combined with theological pessimism, you essentially end up with an equation that makes sense to the scientist who dreamed it up..... I don't argue math, or enjoy pissing contests much but I do follow my own golden rule which is common here on our mother earth. And, it goes like this;
If you are looking for the beginings of something trace it backward to it's oldest point or what I like to call and haven;t trademarked yet, The Genesis Moment. That moment where it literally took shape, form and started. Whether it be nuclei, atomic chaos such as a big bang (which is scientifically impossible.. I've done the math) take it back to where it happened.
The thing is, if we want to live and die by the sword that is the big bang theory well, it's probablly happened an unimagineable number of times over if scientists take that theory to bed.
I don't believe a single big bang is actually possible simply because it's literally not possible. If our atomic and subatomic substructure such as the building blocks of life as we know it, all minerals and elements as we known them were to continue on as they are, a big bang wouldn't be able to happen, gravity would constantly destroy any hopes of a mass ensemble of all things galactical, it's impossible. But being there are more than likely other elements and forces we haven't identified yet in the vastness that is space, our math is basically only relevant to our limited range of exploration and self serving so to speak.
So, let;s just say there was a big bang, o.k. where dis it occure? If we want to find other species like us or intelligent life go there, go backward to where it happened. Why? Because that's where the oldest life forms if any are residing or have been......
I believe that our Earth as it is defined in planetary terms is not a onesy lone wolf in a spinning pinwheel of dust and radiation.... there are many many others. In fact there are more than we could ever imagine, I believe that Earth like planets would be common in the galaxy. Finding them would be difficult simply because we have weak eyes and haven't developed the technology to see them.
Earth as a drive in movie? sure, why not, older wiser beings probablly do exist would they stop by and say, "Yo sweet planet ya got here!" no, they more so than not just poke their heads in and say... hmm, these species are not ready for us yet, give them time. and they go elsewhere. Occassionally they may get a bit close as to be un intentionally seen, sure I believe that the exploratory and curiousity that drives nature to grow is what destroys us so to speak. So it's possible.
That sounds sort of illogical but break it down like this. Albert Einstein was more so than not our greatest mind, no one has suroassed his genius, save for Stephen Hawking, but I have issues with his cynicism, so... whatever...... As brilliant as Albert Einstein was he used to purposely ride his bicycle into objects to study the impact and it;s effect on things, he came up woth the theory of relativity riding his bicycle after crashing into a hole in the ground he didn;t observe beause it was filled with water, ie a puddle.... that exploration of the unknown as simple as it was eeeked us forward rapidly....
So, next time you look up into the sky wave and say hello, someone just may be listening for you. But don't wait for a return gesture of hello, because most of us are way too paranoid and violent to handle such an encounter.

R.I.P. Elvis

2008-06-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

a dogs life

2008-06-16T21:07:00.000-07:00

11:43 pm, Elvis has left us. He had cancer huge tumorous cancer. Today was the day I was waiting for, the day where he'd give me a sign that he was ready to go. I'd have it no other way, after all it is his life to live and he was a smart dog that spoke novels with his eyes and mannerisms. He was very labored in his breathing this evening, he couldn;t eat, he was gurgling alot.... no he wasn;t doing these things until today but the bastard that is cancer is that way. It suddenly tears you apart after slowly gnawing away at you, then one day you can;t fight anymore, today was his day. I'm still crying, I threw up, the doctor told us it was time, the tumor in his neck was one of the largest she's ever seen. He smelled bad like he was rotting away from the inside out, but he'd still wag his tail and try to steal food from you, then it stopped his eyes finialized the last chapter of a life well lived full of love, beauty, playing, escaping, sniffing, farting and humping.. a life well lived by any animal. Elvis, I loved you more than comprehension, you never let me down bud, ever, golden slumbers to you my friend, wait for me wherever we go, I'll join you someday.
The thing about humans and dogs is still a mystery to scientists and psychologists alike. It's some sort of primeval bond, a man sees a dog a doig sees a man and it's love at first site, instant companionship even if it's only for a quick hello to pet a strange animal....
I first saw Elvis at the spca in media, My wife and I used to drop off dogfood to feed the abandoned and stray dogs there, Elvis was last in a line of kennels, howling away and jumping around bawling (something coon hounds do) he was a total freakazoid, and I thought to myself, "holy shit this dog's insane, but he sure is a cutie" so I howled back at him and he howled louder and his tail which was raw and bloodied was wagging at a sprinters pace.... I left with my wife and we talked about that coonhound all the way home. So, we went back to rescue hi the next day, blue collar in hand and a name tag inscribed with "ELVIS"
We took him to the vet asking how old he was so, the vet took one of those vet guesses that sound like, "uh.. hmmm... his teeth are pretty worn down, he may have chewed his way out of being tethered, maybe 5 or so it's hard to say really sometimes you can't accurately guess. He was skinny undernourished and what we later found out destructive, and an escape artist. I loved him no matter how many oven doors he destroyed, refrigerator raids, microwave surfing expeditions and trash can fishing excursions he embarked on.... he was a great friend. I will miss him staring at me whenever I went into the kitchen.. he'd silently follow me in and stare at me with those eyes begging me to drop some food, almost pleading... I never let him down. I cry for him now because 2 hours ago I was comforting him as he breathed in a hard labored way, gurgling on his own saliva, and it was time. He was ready. I didn;r even have to ask anything of him. He never tries to get into the car, but this time as weak as he was I collared him and he got off of his sofa, went outside took a nice healthy piss and walked wobbly over to the car, I helped him in and Pam got in the back with him as he laid his head in her lap. It was time.
we sat on the floor with him as he was given the final drugs which draw life from him, he passed beautifully, peacefully and respectfully if only I could be so lucky some day, if only I was so loved and respected as he was if only I could live a dogs life maybe I'd die a happy man instead of live life wondering why I feel like I've won the kickme and treat me like shit lottery life that I feel I am living, if I could live one day in a dogs loved life, I'd maybe respect myself a little more, I'd let things roll off my back and not dwell on worries, I'd lay in the sun and dream, I'd enjoy sneaking in snacks and also get a daily massage just because I was loved. But me, no frigging way, I'm that dog that everyone thinks is a novelty but doesn't want to take home, destined to be a stray wandering in isolation, a stray untrusting, jittery at times, afraid of the dark, hiding from the rain shivering in the cold alone with my thoughts wondering "what did I do to derserve this life, I was only being kind? instead of being loved and respected I ridiculed and disrespected. If only I could live one day as a dog my dog.....
Next time you want to mock or ridicule someone try thinking what they have given to you, be it love, friendship, companionship, confidence, advice, a dollar or 2, an ear to bend, their honesty, their virtue their respect, all qualities we overlook everyday. Dogs give you all of those except the dollar, they usually eat those...we waste them.

Play Catch

2008-06-03T07:12:00.000-07:00

My daughter Melissa wanted to play catch after dinner last evening. Melissa wanting to break in her new Lacrosse stick and me being game anytime for time spent with her and Jen, I grabbed my lacrosse stick and headed out the front door across the street to the grass lot. As we were having a catch she was chattering about school, her friends, summer camp stuff, her trip to Lacrosse camp this summer, I listened intently and offered responses as she asked. After about an hour the light began leaving us so we headed inside. Melissa was really wiped out from Sundays events which consisted of a Lacrosse tournament ie; 5 games back to back, then 2 softball games back to back.... she was pretty much running on yesterdays adrenaline. I rarely get to spend this kind of time with either Melissa or Jen these days but when the chance arrises, I jump at it.
This past weekend a friend of mine died due to complications from alcoholism. He went into a coma over the winter holidays, came out of that then passed away over the weekend. I had hoped he would have a chance to turn himself around physically and also turn himself around in his head. He was divorced and also has a son.
We were friends though not close by any means meaning we only said hello if we saw each other anywhere socially, but we were friends none the less. When a death such as this and under the circumstances in which it occurs I have to ask, where was everyone? Where was his family, his closer friends, a therapist, a rabbi or priest... anyone... how could this manifest into something so tragic?
Without overstepping personal boundaries and creating a spin-off of a problem this should not happen to anyone. Yes, people succumb to drugs and alcohol, yes they are self destructive though there is always a way to offer direction away from that dark road. I drink beer, wine and champagne. I enjoy the flavors the art of making such products, and I enjoy the relaxation time I have while enjoying these beverages. I personally do not understand how someone can drink themselves to death, I just can't make the connection in regard to someone being left so alone that all they have to do is drink and rink and drink out of sheer boredom..... I don't get it.
My friend Jake Meyer was one of the best singers I have ever heard he had talent that seemed everlasting, he was invigorating to anyone who heard his voice. Jake also posessed a keen ability to write beautiful music and collaborate with other musicians. He will be undeniably missed by all who knew him. I feel deep remorse for his ex-wife Kim and their Son, I can not begin to imagine how they feel.
Rest in peace Jake, I wish I had know you better, though I may not have been able to help you still, I will miss you as if we had been closer friends you loss is sad, beyond words to me.
Jake's son will never get to experience a catch with his dad or rattle off the days events to his dad, or connect with his dad in someway that no matter how tough, bored, down, tragic, futile or painful Jake's life was he will never be uplifted by his child. Maybe having a catch would have saved him in a way. Maybe looking forward to having a catch and relishing those moments in life that shape a lifetime could have offered him something to look forward to instead of a bottle.
I, as imaginative as I am have no idea what I would do if I ever lost touch with my kids, honestly I have no clue. My family is my muse, my family is my life, my family is my hope, as I am theirs.
Peace Jake, peace.

allegations of

2008-05-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

Substance abuse and physical abuse were directed at Bill Murray by his now future ex-wife. Well, apparently she didn't like him golfing and traveling around hanging out with his friends all of the time, so she dropped an egg on him.
Bill Murray has openly supported the legalization of Marijuana and has cited it's benefits during speeches on behalf of various organizations and private gruops. His wife thinks she is "bringing him down" from his "cloud" by telling everyone he's a stoner..... that's pretty funny. Everyone knows he's an old school pot head golf flunkie anyway.. like it's a surprise.... This is one divorce I've gotta watch if it's on court TV, when the questioning begins I can;t wait for Bill's answers cause he;s probablly golfed with every attorney and Judge in his county and beyond....haha...

tools

2008-05-23T07:51:00.001-07:00

I have been getting some requests for what I use to create some of the sounds for the reggae that I am playing right now.
Here's the pedal board starting at the bottom right and moving across then back over and up is as follows..
Boss tuner, Toadworks John Bull british overdrive, Arion Tubulator MTE-1, Soundtank ts5 converted into an 808 with mods, Ibanez Ts-808 with malaysia TI 4558p chip, DOD envelope filer FX25, EH Small stone nano Phaser, Electra Flanger 605F, Boss CE-5 Chorus, Arion Sad-3 Analog delay, DOD FX90 analog delay, Digitechpds 2000 digital delay, DOD bi-fet preamp FX10.
Chained in that order.. yes, 4 overdrives 3 delays.... why bend down on stage and play tidly-winks with your boxes it's easier to just use another one and turn one off and another on... I never use alot of fuzz or grit or graininess just warm tube like drive or growl. the delays have specific jobs to do for particular things, the digitech is set to a longer time like 400-460 MS, the Dod is set around 90-115, and the arion is only used for slide or small room like slap or doubling so it;s set super tight or short in time...

Fill in

2008-05-20T09:16:00.000-07:00

A customer turned friend asked me to fill in for him in his band, he can't make a gig and they don;t want to cancel. I said sure, what kind of music do you guys play?
" Disco" he says..... Oh.. yeah sure man, count on me I'll help you out no problemo.
His Bass player emails me the set list....

Set 1

Mr. Big Stuff D#
You Make Me Feel Like Dancin E
Stayin Alive F#
To Be Real G
September D
Ladies' Night C#
Respect E
We Are Family G
Freak Out A
Fire C
Jungle Boogie G
Bad Girls D
Hot Stuff F
Boogie Oogie Oogie D
Do the Hustle E#

Set 2

Lady Marmalade G
I Wish D#
We Want the Funk E
I Want To Thank You E
Get Down Tonight F
That's the Way F
Disco Inferno C
Groove is In the Heart G#
Car Wash D
Give It To Me Baby D
I Will Survive A
You Should Be Dancin G
Kiss A
Superstition E
Play That Funky Music E

Alternate
Pick up the Pieces F
I Want You Back E
Boogie Shoes Bb
Kung Foo Fighting D
Take a Chance B
Dancing Queen A
Heaven Must Be Missin An Angel C
Jive Talkin C
Last Dance Eb
Rapture E
Brick House G
Can't Get Enough of Your Love G
Get Down On It E
Soul Man G
Tell Me Somethin Good F#

Then I shit myself and passed out....
I used to know a few of these songs as party songs... like any good musician should.. right?..
I have 1 month to re-learn/learn all of these songs......
Oh and they wear like wigs and stuff, big medalians and um.. all of that kind of thing. but hey it's a paying gig, so it'll be like halloween in a way... sort of..... o.k. maybe not, maybe it'll be just a fun time...
One of my concerns about this gig is that the guys in the band wear true to form polyester shirts....i'm scared because I don;t have any chest hair to speak of so, maybe I'll buy some?...
songs I already know
Stayin' Alive
Get down on it
Jive Talkin'
Brick house
Boogie shoes
Tell me somethin good

god help me....
and it's at the Tyler arboritum......

a little reggae punk

2008-05-16T08:26:00.001-07:00

For the fans of old school punk bands, here we play 999 Homicide... but reggae..

I threw up today

2008-05-16T06:53:00.001-07:00

but it wasn;t because of my allergies which is a daily occurance with me... it was because of television. The New Kids on the block were on the today show....and people clapped, and they sucked beyond hideously....

Still

2008-05-15T14:29:00.000-07:00

Everyone in The band that I am in, has a nickname.... i still don't have a nickname....and being I am in a Reggae Band, I'm supposedly required to have one... though I don't know why. One of my customers is a rastafarian. His name as he told me is Do-Chuck, his real name is Melvin.. but he goes by Do-Chuck.... He asked me one afternoon why I had so many guitars and amos in my store, so i told him why, "I play music" "what kind man?" I said, "Reggae" he lit up and said, "Ah, I knew it man you are a reggae man yes?" I replied, "I write songs and play guitar" then he asked me what my name was, I said, "Frank, you know that already.." he replied, "yeah man, but what's your reggae name brother?" I said I didn't have one, so he told me I had to have one, especially if I was creating Reggae music....I just sighed and told him I never had a nickname, except for whatever my sister wanted to call me at the time, which wasn't normally a nice word cause I bugged her when I was a kid.... he laughed and said you can't use one of those names.
I told him I wasn't a rastafarian I just love reggae music, and believe in humans being kind to each other, when they aren't I turn my back to them. He said, don;t turn your back, open your arms... I said I wasn;t capable of doing that just yet. He said, in time those who have scorned you will seek forgiveness and it is righteous to forgive and selfish not to.
Hmm, I felt what he was saying.
He got back on the nickname or reggae name thing. Even some of my friends who had dreads have nicknames one of them I still call him by it. Rama.. it just stuck and it suits him more so than his namesake..
But I don;t have a nickname, My band members do Mike is nicknamed Obee, Bruce is Broozer, and John is Mazz, the other members who are in the band par time are Hoagland his name is Hoagy and Steve is Chompy.
I'm just uh, Frank. So, Melvin er.... Do-Chuck told me and he was serious and intense about it, that I need a nickname he won't speak my english name ever again.... I was scared he didn't like me or something or I did something offensive by breaking a golden rule... but I didn't know I needed a nickname... or not a nick name but another name for another community.....
*sigh* now what do I do?......I'm just Frank I wouldn;t even know how I could get a reggae name?... is it like something you do or are, or like?... i dunno.....

probablly the best

2008-05-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

I have been going to pepper's cafe in Ardmore for a long time, really long time. The food never ceases to amaze me, it's always fresh and prepared perfectly. There's lots of places to grab a bite just about anywhere in our community, but for one of the best unique eateries, Pepper's is on the top of my list.

I hate Stephen Hawking and his paper asshole.

2008-05-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

But he's supposed to be the smartest human alive. I watched then read a transcript on his dissertation regarding the big bang and God. He's pretty synical, or at least comes off as so. I know I'm being harsh here, but something he said just strikes a nerve in me. He stated that "in his opinion" the mere fact that aliens only show themselves to cooks and weirdos is proof that they don't exist, is probablly not correct simply because none of these people have ever been daignosed with any form of mental dysfunction or neglegent in mental capacity. It's an off-handed comment, not a fact in anyway. He pulls the old smarter than though attitude with his, if there were aliens visiting us, why haven't "we" made contact with them? "We" meaning him, and whomever else he deems worthy of an E.T. visit. I call bullshit on him. Maybe they don't like us, and being they are carbon based more likely than unlikely, may make a mistake and make themselves visible for a short time. it's possible, Maybe they don;t like people like Stephen Hawking because they won;t be able to communicate with him, I mean the guy never goes anywhere, but he can, he can wheelhimself around in a cow pasture or downtown mexico somewhere and experience a sighting like anyone else can. He seems borderline jealous of the "loonies" who may have had some form of experience. He's bitter. So, I say this Dr. Hawking, have someone help you put on some Cargo pants, and a comfy hawaiian shirt a nice cowboy hat with a camera mounted to it that react with your blinking motions and park it somewhere. maybe they'll come check you out. Afterall I don;t think aliens are too much into breaking and entering, scaring the great minds of our time, cause if you hide away, they'll never find you. I'l even help push you around or ride sidecar to you captaining your steed. this way you have a witness if need be. I can keep you entertained for a couple of weeks, I know all sorts of filthy jokes, I can play music for you but I'm a horrible dancer so dancing is out, and i know a few card tricks. I'd be a good candidate for a sidekick.

infinite creation and the paper assholes at NASA.

2008-05-12T11:17:00.000-07:00

Scientists have long debated the fate of the "finite" mass of our universe, finite meaning there is a finite or definite amount of carbon, helium, oxygen, etc, etc, etc... and that's it.... the production of these particles has never changed or will never exceed any particular amount. But they don't have any definitive "head count" on what those numbers are, persay.
Alright, I call bullshit on that. Humans alone create carbon everytime we generate or create a new life form. which results in a growth of that said life form. so, carbon based Human life forms that are created largely outnumber the ones that die off. we are expanding so to speak. That's just humans.

The ultra scientists who believe this is merely a collective lucky throw of the dice in stating that we can create as many human life forms as we want, there's always more carbon particles being destroyed to balance the "system" out...
That's fucking cooky. are they serious? How would they know, I mean who;s feeding these guys their daily dose of LSD and bullshit anyway?
Wow, I don;t believe there is a finite amount of anything in the uiverse or it would just shut off one day and stall, like a balloon being blow up. if you're blowing up a balloon and just run out of something to make it expand, then it just stops where it is. I don;t know what is making the universe expand persay, but It's most likely opposed gravity, or magnetic relevation, causing planets and outerstellar groupings and constellations, masses, clouds to push away from each other then pick up speed while in space. Then comes the question what is space anyway? I believe space is just what it is, space. Ignore the roman usage of the word, it was derived from a latin term for one's dwelling and occupying of a specific land area to tax people on their land... throw that definition out the window. Space as carl Sagan described it, and described it best when he said, "Space is simply something we can not simplify, it is there for our existence and the potential and likely existence of other life forms to use to gain intelligence and live in harmony and peace. Space is our stellar neutral zone, unending, unyeilding, unblemished and undeniably vast, more so than our creative minds could ever imagine."
I heard him say that when I was in 4th grade and it sounded cool to me then, it sounds cooler now.
I feel that we humans are at a scientific egomaniacal crossroads of sorts. we think we know things and due to our technology "at hand" then are disproven in a relatively immediate manner causing scientists to sound more like philosophers than fact borne plathagerists, people who speak what is true.
Truth is, Science is a science of learning not grandstanding and "air time". Seems the science community is coveting a "new look" attitude toward something that is more about being beyond what they know and more about beyond what they don't know. In a nutshell, it's a shit show, dog and pony, poodles jumping through flaming hoops, stuff like that... metaphorically.
I miss the Carl Sagan's of the science world, yeah he was a dreamer and maybe the first "face" of science but he didn't talk with a paper asshole either.

Since some folks are asking.....

2008-05-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

About when I'm going to be visible on a bike, anywhere... on the road, or in the woods.. on the roof... anywhere, I don't have an answer, truely I don't have one. It's not for any other reason other than motivation. Understand me when I say "I want to ride", then understand me when I say, "I don't feel like getting up at 4-5am to ride" also understand me when I say, "I don't want to ride at 5-6-7 pm or later" I just don't want to. Those evening times are for my wife and Kids, family time, also home maintenence time, i've got projects to do/finish/re-do. I'm just not there with the riding. I'd love to hit Belmont or White clay on the shotgun, geez I dream about it twice per week. But I don't have the motivation to do it.
My allergies are really becoming some sort of Cosmic blackhole for my health lately. I coughed up blood last week, which was fun if you're into that sort of thing, i'm not.
I'm drowning in repair work which is really nice after such a weak fall and winter. But I've been hearing from other shop owners it was rough for them as well. So, that's comforting in it's own unique way.
Good luck To Elaina Deitz in her quest for a new team, she's a special athlete and deserves special treatment for sure. She's an ACE and strikes fear in anyone who lines up with her.

Vandalism and Angelo Cataldi's stupidity.

2008-05-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

How could police drive by and let things like this happen? THis is not a hockey/loyal post, it's about alowing anyone to alter city monuments without a permit. It's a city ordinance and should be dealt with accordingly.
WIP has acted on the rash of threats and previous modification to this particular monument by hosting a calling out, read about it here http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/nhl_experts/post/Saving-Rocky-from-Penguins-fan-desecration-Flye?urn=nhl,81444
There are numerous security guards walking the grounds of the art museum 24 hours every day of the year, this should have been dealt with properly instead of making it a media opportunity for Angelo Cataldi, why not go there himself and deal with it? Why risk someone elses potential fate, I mean if assholes are willing to blow off a cops head why not shoot someone over something like this which seems to be a very personal insult to the philadelphia die-hard hockey fans or Flyers fans. I feel his plea is extremely ignorant and grotesque.
So, I call out Angelo Cataldi to camp his ass out there until the series is over, after all if he feels so offended by the actions and threats he should be the one to act on his own submission. Not some blind and furious fan willing to do his deed.
You suck Angelo.

beer me

2008-05-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

I spent roughly 5 hours power washing the rear deck of my house today, surprisingly I enjoyed it immensely. Jen's boyfriend Tim, was s huge help today as well. I had a relaxing manual labor intensive day. After the deck cleaning Pam and I heqded to Melissa's softball game with mojito's neatly concealed in travel mugs... more genius.

Scientology and my balls

2008-05-04T20:18:00.000-07:00

Round 2 or Ronde-do-over for Tom Cruise is approaching for our viewing displeasure. Oprah must have some money invested in him, or worse yet she's working her way up the Thetan ladder and is cruising (no pun intended) for some alien-nation perks.
So, once again we will be steamrolled with media footage of Tom behaving ... like the douche bag that he is, with some form of submarined dialogue explaining how great he is as he flails around like an incomplete cheerleader with parental...issues
So, does anyone.. care?.. before anyone blurts.. "but YOU are writing about it".. uh, like 7 people read my blog so it's more of an intimate bitch fest for me, I don;t have an audience like some bloggers do... so, no kicking me in the nuts over this. And, no I don't have a monkey on my back about him, I am simply honest about what I see and hear and basically Tom Cruise must have hit the dumbass luck lottery somehow. Regardless, women will scream and cry as he moonwalks onto Oprah's stage, simply because someone deemed him desrving of god-like treatment, essentially reinforcing his own pseudo-psycho self inflated id..... I basically despise everything he is about, he epitomizes how stupid people can be about celebrities.
I blame Travolta for his elite status. If Travolta would have staye here on Earth with.. you know, US he would have held his throne of King bad ass in Hollywood, but.. he made a sequel to one of the greatest movies ever, not that the movie was great, he was great in it... Stallone had it nailed with the first Rocky movie, almost overthrowing Travolta.. but, he fucked up also, making a sequel....more than once.. so, he's just a dumbass.. But, sadly Travolta became a bloated parade float parody of himself and good 'ol Tom just slid into the winners circle with literally 1 role that meteorically flung him into the underpants of women world wide.. all because James Spader shot the role down, guffawing at the prospect of risky business even making it into theaters at all.... nice move, now we are all stuck with you know who as the spokesperson for American movie superstardom...... my balls can act better than Tom Cruise on his best day.
In my feeble bitching and in conclusion to one of my more useless posts, I Blame Scientology for ruining my vision of a hollywood hero.
Good luck on Oprah Tom, try not to stick your dick in your own ear this time you idiot, or better yet, why not run onto Oprah's set and dry hump her, that would basically guarantee you a spot in the six o'clock news and solidify 1st place on the hollywood blunders list for maybe this entire millenium.

If there is a heaven.....

2008-05-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

And 1 god almighty, I'd have to pick 1 of 2 theoretical circumstances on how heaven works...
scenario 1.) God/she/he/whatever the almighty diety is.. probablly neither a he or she I mean, why discriminate...... anyway, we are all forgiven for coming up short in the eyes of the lord and that's o.k. by the almighty diety we were designed not to be perfect anyway, but to learn what perfection is, then do the opposite.... or know what not to do but do it anyway, just 'cause... we wanted to.. ? So, heaven is one huge bowling party and everyone's invited.. o.k. works in theory, fine.
scenario 2.)The almighty diety has assembled us to constantly evolve and reform, cgange and become different versions of the original design.... which means the diety can choose which of us it wants to spend eternity with once our light burns out..
and in saying that, I have comprised a short list of who the diety would want by it's side..
1.) Bob Marley
2.) Johnny Cash
3.) Mother Theresa
4.) Leonardo Davinci
5.) Julia Child
6.) Gilda Radnor
7.) Barbaro
8.) George Harrison
9.) Frank Sinatra
10.) Anne Franke
because they set a standard while they were here, a positive standard. Or gave some of us things to dream about or something to cheer for.

arthritis?

2008-04-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

Hey, if anyone knows anything about fingertip specific pain, please get back to me in some way. I've been dealing with some pain issues for about a year now specifically on 2 of my fingers (middle finger Tip left hand, indexfinger tip right hand)
I know I will eventually have to see someone about this, though any info or advice would be great.

You can tell it's Spring when....

2008-04-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

You're having fun at the bike shop and some vinegar pissing unhappy motherfucker decides "today is the day I'm going to yell at some lacky in retail.. in front of my children to show them how daddy gets his way"
Yep, it's spring, yes someone tried to yell at me, what did I do.... I stared at him, then laughed at him because I felt sorry for his poor daughters, who may now be scarred for life, eternaly seeking out a hot headed douche bag to force their way through life's challenging moments....I laughed... another customer asked the guy if there was something wrong with him, I offered him a beer, I offered hospitality besides excellent service. He didn't want anything but to try and bully someone...over nothing, literally nothing, just because he was in a shitty mood. well, if things are that bad for you, try owning a bikeshop that'll make you more sensitive to people in retail, you strive to please your community and they shit on you every way possible... peace my friend peace, y'know?

The pink tree in front of my house is beautiful, there are bunny babbies all over the place... it's awesome.
Oh and hey, we're playing a sponsored run in westchester on June 20th.... and we were just offered some dates at the Dawson in Manayunk....
more is coming in, ...
The shop is busy, I'm happy for now, not elated, but glad to see an upturn in business at least.
Sovereign bank lost $1,000 of my money somehow.. they're looking into it...yeah, haha...
a nice French Lady came in today just as I was closing up, she was so sweet I wanted to cry. She told me my shop reminded her of home... now my shop isn;t very typical, there's bikes bike stuff, guitars, guitar stuff and friends hanging around drinking beer, with customers.... and there's good music on, it's not britely lit, and Smooty is becoming the Mayor of Havertown. People come by sometimes after I close just say hi To Smooty... it's touching. People ask me, does he live here? I answer "yeah" they say, isn;t he lonely? I answer, nope you're about the 100th person today to pet him... he's a spolied bastard and he loves it here... " When I work outside, he;s in the window right next to me, he;s listening to Bob Marley inside, watching me work, purring making "new eyes" at me.. I give him turkey and Ham for lunch, he purrs all of the time, he fights dirty, plays rough and is a sneaky monkey....
viva la Smooty

6 Months til D-Day

2008-04-25T07:52:00.000-07:00

Cross season starts in just about 6 months.
So, dry mount your new Tubulars on your race wheels now so they'll be super easy to mount come time to glue and go... or tape and go. Tape works well also, and it's less messy.
Yeah, kill me for posting this being mountain bike season has barely begun, hang me from a tree (preferrably a flowering cherry, like the massive one on my front yard that I love and refuse to trim because I love it's natural grow-in beauty, ducking 12 times to get onto my front porch doesn't bother me so much)
I keep looking at my cyclocross bike and drooling. Yesterday I went down stairs and felt awful looking at the shotgun just sitting there disembowled, I felt like a moron.
I'll put wheels back on it and ride it, it's not a 29er but, shit it rides so beautifully and I'm not racing mountain bikes anytime soon. Maybe one long one so I can go foshing if I coe across a nice stream. I'm not competitive anymore, don't see how I could ever be competitive again, my left leg has in a way "had-it" it can only come back so far then that's it. So, recreational riding is good.
Though I do like entering cyclocross races and doing some laps... I'm not fast but I can handle my bike technically which only allows me to get lapped once....which is a success for me in a way.
Greatest moment last year was at Lehigh velo cross. I had just gotten lapped by Jason who won our race on the back side of the course in this super twisty running area as I hurdled a barrier uphill (which was removed for the other classes being it was deemed, "unnecessarily difficult"....sure make us suffer like guinea pigs..haha) I look up and see Mike Yozell and Erica Yozell, Erica smiled and cheered me on, Mike looked at me as I ran by jason as I asked him for a beer, his reply, classic and prime for the moment as Yozell lyrically chooses his words, "you've had enough beer already, run faster bro" My reply came quick and to the point as I grumbled a muted ,"thanks" but I threw up in my mouth a little so it sounded like "Ppthkllsuewrll" I would have tried to defend my plea for a beverage, but I was distracted by Them yelling for Anne Rock to shake her ass or something like that about 10 seconds behind me, which made me pull up, swallow the puke and try to pull Anne up to 2 ladies who had just passed me, but she later told me she had wooden legs and was cooked by that time. At one point at lehigh I seriously though about doing a few laps in the drainage area it looked really inviting for a quick swim y'know, but I though I saw one someone in a Wiss jersey taking a leak back there, so I though, "Meh, maybe not today"
It's still April and I'm looking for shitty weather to ride in.... maybe I am drinking too much beer. Eh who cares, life's good, smell some flowers mae a cat purr a little, we're only here once, make it worth your time.

Testing 1,2

2008-04-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

If you have a myspace account, please friend the Band I am in. http://www.myspace.com/rotosonic

April 18th @ 11:00 pm

2008-04-14T09:13:00.000-07:00

Rotosonic is playing the rusty nail in Ardmore Pa.
Please come out and support local original music. I play guitar in this band.
We go on at 11:00pm Friday evening, yeah it's late, but hey it'll be a really great time for all who attend. We have been generating a little interest locally so it should be a crowded venue.
cover is $5.00, bring a friend or several friends, tell the doorman who you are there to see.
Hopefully we will play some races this summer as well if we can all be available.
We play a reggae/rock/world rythyms style of music that just feels great and makes people dance.
www.myspace.com/rotosonic
the songs posted on our myspace are just writing demos, so keep that in kind, we will be recording our newer songs professionally in a short while.

10 things you can not do.. if you are a man.

2008-04-12T11:05:00.001-07:00

1.) Go to the moon - even if you had the means to do so, it wouldn;t happen, NASA would shoot your ass out of the sky. According to Jimmy Carter our governmant is spedning entirely too much money "protecting" something on the moon.
2.) Tell Tom Cruise he's a douche bag. As much as I want to do this, it'll never happen he's one of those dudes who may not actually exist in reality. Plus who wants those scientology assholes leaving flaming bags of dogshit on your porch every morning just because you hate Tom.
3.)Be Pope for a day. I'd love to be Pope for a day, there is so much art I want to see, and I'd really enjoy tossing back a few with the Dali Lama.
4.) Be respected - No one gets respect consistently, seems like you're either in demand, popular or not "in" becuase most folks don't respect themselves enough to give you a chance to even earn their respect.
5.) Fail miserably - no one fails miserably, because there's always someone or a group there to pick you back up so they can keep milking you dry for their own needs.
6.) be a pro snowboarder - is there really such a thing?
7.) Win the tour de france - because eventually everyone who's ever won will be disquallified shaming true hairless legged cyclists zooming around on the streets pretending to be in Italy or France. These few die-hards will live on, but the jaded many will take up bouldering or rock climbing cause even of you dope in climbing when you fall from a high enough altitude you'll be.... dead, so no one will care.
8.) Free yourself from fossil fuels - lots of things we use on a daily basis come from fossil fuels. it's an impossibility
9.) Have your wife listen to you like you listen to her... it just ain't never gonna happen.... but hey, keep trying.
10.) Win a pissing contest - I hate pissing contests avoid them at all costs.

big hairy deal

2008-03-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

I haven;t ran a brush through my hair in about 2 1/2 weeks. On purpose, I'm how do you say, done with playing with my locks. I do not shave my head, though I did for about 1 1/2 years out of frustration more than anything.
So, with no brushing for a few weeks, and a bandana rolled up and tucked under my hair keeping it out of my face. This week, I noticed it's starting to do some fun-funky stuff, like group together in curly clumps, it's always clumped and I have big wavy curls when it gets long, this is different, it's interesting to me. I like simplicity in my life, not laziness, I like basic things, not overly complex things, I have ADD , not a PHD, I have a vision, not hallucinations, I see the good in things, not things that are good for me. I'm beyond being a simple man, so with simplicty all things eventually become well.. simple even hairstyles.
I'm not one to sit in a salon and get my hair done, That was years ago for me, now.. meh, not so much.
Quite a few friends I have have had or still have, dread locks. All different types of dread locks, from tight neat dread locks to big tree root looking dread locks. Some of my friends have paid to have their hair "dreaded out" some have done it themselves naturally going through the process as a journey of sorts. I like journey's and adventures.
So for now, I'll go on a journey of sorts, see where my heads at Pam, isn;t too into it, but I think I'm still cute enough to look presentable with some baby dreads and well, this funny looking patch of hair on my face now, that goes from Jetblack to snow white in the span of 1 1/2". Seems I'm developing some super powers with some of my newfound Hair weirdness. Superpowers?.. probablly not, but journey's are fun.

Camp

2008-03-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, some of the GIRL SCOUTS mountain bike camp bikes showed up for service. Yes, Girl Scouts have camps where the participants ride their bikes on trails, bike paths and other safe estuaries accompanied by leaders and guides where they do nature studies ie" plants, animals, erosion, climatology.. all sorts of cool stuff. Girl Scouts ( My wife leadsa 2 troops and has been a girls scout since she was a fledgeling Paminator, our girls are all scouts as well, Jen is going to Costa Rica again this summer for another surf Camp.....she stays in these cool beach huts, with girls from 10 other countries, they surf, do community service there and keep journals entailing their experiences to share with others.

Cacaphony summit yo!

2008-03-18T07:53:00.000-07:00

There is this thing in life called randomness. Humans and mountain bikers/cyclocrossers and roadies live by it. We randomly excavate our souls on a ride or during a race, figuratively emptying our cluttered/pent-up disembodied barrel full of excuses we harbor for times when we want to say, "nah, fuck thatI don;t want to ride/race/train/toodle because it's (fill in the blank here with justified excuse or excuses now)
Though somehow, we ( not specifically me anymore but I occasionally fall off of the retiree wagon and tatse that sweetness that is racing, though admittedly I will occasionally stop to fish in a stream or lake or stop to pet dogs and take pistures while enroute) manage to gather our asses emmasse and head toward the starting line of bicycle racing events. Shockingly and horrifyingly some of these so called "bike races" require the dreaded skill of Running to go lok for your coveted steed that could possibly be hanging from a tree or stuffed into the bucket of a backhoe or worse be hidden in a bush by some potsy-bastard who thinks they are being "slick" or Crafty, depending on which era of break dancing you favor or have in your ipod shuffle......
The randomness we excersize in cycling allows us the ability to extricate our disembodied "CHI" for use on hard rides so we may keep going. That same randomness allows to get lost on purpose by accident, of all things beautiful and strange.....
Randomness grants us the ineptitude we justify for drinking heavily a night before a race, our creedo, "Fuck it man, I'm fit besides you're more drunk than I am anyway you hoser..." it's statements like that which cause you to go into caveman mode on the first hill as you re-satse those nachos and wheat beer you swore wouldn;t cause you to be "illin" when you're supposed to be "chillin" while storming through the greatness that is Fairhill or better yet Granogue....Life is like that sometimes, full of momentus hi-jinx to be experienced only by the clods in all of us.
Randonmess is seldom acknowledged because most of us are overtly put off and shocked by our own flavor of randnomness, some like it spicy, some like it bland though all of like it sugar coated so if need be, it goes down easy when we have to share our randomness tales with others. The puzzling way in which we dilate our perspective to make sense of somting we like to do is inherently un-unique, but we all share a common cacophonic modus operendi when we decide to "go Random" for a minute or.. y'know week or so... we do it because it's what shapes our minds to grow or invert to decifer something we can;t put our fingers on. Like making a short mountain bike turn into a death march into the setting sun.... or not hide under a bridge when it's hailing during a road ride, we need the juice, the experience the mojo, the soulful impracticality of being random just for randomness' sake.
play nice, play fair, be gracious to your competitors, share the experience don't be the experience.

W.O.M.B.A.T.S. unite!

2008-03-18T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hey Ladies!
The queen of Fat Tires and bike culture world wide, wants to come east to Hang, ride, do some clinics, have high tea and play her Banjo. Show her some good old east coast love! Jacquie Phelan was there at the begining and will undoubtedly be there at the end, not that there will ever be an end to mountain biking... but she is an honored MTB hall of famer and huge fan of all things we are into. Maybe we could have her at the Kunh farm this summer for a weekend long event? she can play with the band I've put together, do some racing, some tea drinking, some socializing, share some happy times with us.
Visit her blog, introduce yourself she's a charming gal indeed, make a new friend.

arbitration season

2008-03-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

I've gone into arbitration with myself after a failed attampt at negotiating cleaning the bike shop. One side says, "Just get the job done", the other side says, "nah screw that you do it" So, I am deadlocked and headed for arbitration... so in the meantime, I'll at least take the trash out and put some tools away, maybe sweep, play some guitar, fix a bunch of bikes, drink some beer and wait for arbitration to be decided.
IN the meantime, I'm trying to gather some good band names to present to the guys Monday evening.

is this real?

2008-03-14T10:36:00.000-07:00

On the Odd news front, there's this Planet-oid cataclysm that's supposed to occur in our very near future. A Planet called Nibiru or the Tenth Planet as discovered by Nasa Scientists is locked in a 3,600 year orbit of our sun. Hmm, I didn't know that something like that was possible, that's a huge orbit and it's a supposedly huge planet being 3-5 times larger than Earth. This Planet apparently carries it's own moons with it too, hmm. It's Red in color and has some sort of cosmic dust wings that make it look like it has bullhorns as it hurdles itself through space like a bull in a china shop.
Almost 4,000 years ago Ancient Sumarians wrote about our solar system having 10 planets, modern science as of the 20th centiry only counted 9, though recently as of 15 years ago, there was a discovery of a distant red planet entering our solar system. It was jusly named Planet X. Hmm, weird. How the Hell did ancient Sumarians know of such a planet? According to ancient writing of the Sumarians this Red Planet which they called Nibiru took an extremely short period of time to become visible to the naked eye in our day and evening sky, and pas through close to our sun then wisk off to begin a new orbit. Writing from the Sumarian time period indicate there were alot of climate changes and geological instability on Earth during the Red planets close to Earth Orbit. Being that it gets extremely close to Mars according to some pretty high-tech Math Scientists suspect it may have caused the Atmosphere of mars to vanish, for it has a strong Magnetic pull eveidently due to all of the space debris it's bringing with it ie' rocks, asteroids, dust etc...
Though I do believe Scientists have discovered a new distant planet I'm not so sure I believe in the doomsday monaker attached to it. It just seems to out there, because if it has a 3,600 year orbit and we have been around for longer than that, what does one term as doomsday?
According to one of Nasa telescope's recently erected in the south pole, This tenth Planet is very visible at sunset, positioned directly next to the sun as a bright orange/red dot, hmm. Seems like it's moving pretty fast.
there is no scientific prrof that this is a cataclysmic event in the negative sense, just some documented notations from the Sumarians stating that there were 2 suns for a breif period of time, which they called a period of enlightenment. Enllightnment is a big word, probablly an incorrect decoding that could read, period or time of more light would be my hunch. People misinterpret writing frequently and we are pretty smart for a species that is destroying itself chromosone by chromosone (clap loudly now)
The folks who have decoded some of these ancient texts are always changing the interpretations based on new evidence that arrises, so as has been said before, don't believe everything you read.
Though I am curious as to the photographs I have found, and Nasa's hurry-up aproach to build this telescope specifically to view this lanet as it's getting closer to us. That's intriguing to me.
There has also been reports of Whales and larger octopus and other undersea creatures making a bee line for the south pole due to an increase in southern polar magnetism. Considering most Marine creatures use a type of Sonar relative to location/orientation life migrations this is more interesting to me. An increase in southern polar magnetic draw or activity is probablly being caused by this Tenth planet's approach. Also, I have read that deep southern hemisphere land mammals and egg laying creatures are being reported by various zoological entities to have taken on new patterns of behavior when the Magnetic increase was first discovered. Behavior that is more curios than alarming.
check it out it's interesting.

Oh puhleese

2008-03-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

Not much bike blogging to do this winter, what's to blog about when no one's riding? Alas spring is near (cue blazing saddles, "He said the sherrif is Near!")
Rabbits are humping their asses off in my front yard, my dog likes to sit on the front porch with me and just sniff the brezzes sweeping by as he wags his tail in an erratic pattern of happiness. I'd wag my tai too if I had one. Pam has big and I mean Big plans for our spring/summer gardening, I'm stoked I have my mind set on "exterior beautification" this year....I'd even like to paint my bhouse, but I can't be on a ladder cause I fall off of them and that's sort of el-sucko in my eyes, so I have to figure something out when it's go time.
Business is picking up. The basement that's full of bikes (left here from mid 2007 onward) hopefully will drain itself somehow. If not, I'll have a fire sale, cause some of these bikes are really good machines.
I'm playing in an original Reggae band as of Monday the 10th, after being invited to a Jam session. There's something about never hearing a song before, being told the chords then effortlessly swaying through a song that lands you an invitation to join a great band. 4 hours of that kind of Jamming leads to chemistry. We'll have a name shortly, but for now the members are from Slomo, Jimmy Shoe and the Shine and a 20 something bass player Grad from Berkley who has nice feel. Me, I fit in in my way. I make noise, play my guitar and am looking to hound my 13 year old daughter for some sax lessons incase I want to play that also. I'll brush up on my xylophone mad-crazy skillz also.. I like the xylophone.
I'll post more on that when I'm able to.

Training Clinics

2008-02-15T04:24:00.001-08:00

Saturday Mornings @ 9:00 am, Belmont Plateau. I am holding mountain bike clinics for those wishing to participate. Clinc will be comprised of race start drills, Hill climb drills, and a few other fun though very difficult elements that need attention for racing.
If anyone has any questions my cell is 484-431-1755.

winter art projects

2008-02-11T16:27:00.000-08:00

Not much to post this time of year, except I found myself first in church, then a sinagog, then sacrificing a live chicken dancing naked on south street wearing a headress made of peacock feathers and chickpeas trying to make it snow. None of it worked, it got cold but meh, no snow. Maybe I left something out, I dunno.
Been working on winter repairs at the shop and also doing some artwork, experimenting with different mediums and paints,settling on acrylics and small objects. I don't have access to a model to paint so I just make things look from my point of view, easier for me to look at.
Here's a once broken (pissed on by my Rottweiler Otto...)and useless stomp box or guitar effect pedal. I fixed it, modded the elctronic circuit into something more ear pleasing to me, then to complete it's now functional transition, I painted it using thinned out acrylics, a broken guitar string and a sharpened bicycle spoke. I finished it off with clear enamel. I also did 2 more of these broken stompboxes I have laying around in an empty beer case, all to be rebuilt into more useful peices instead of just broken stuff in a box.

In the name of Rock

2008-01-22T17:38:00.000-08:00

I love my little champ amp. 1978 was apparently a good year for me, I was 13, I was popular with the chicks, I played guitar as good or better than alot of people older than I was and I bought my first guitar amp with money I earned working at the family business... "the Lumber Yard".... yeah, the lumber yard........I had been driving since I was a few weeks past 11 years old ( on forklifts) and was promoted to "park the fuckin' trucks" one day..at forst I declined, then retracted my refusal as my uncle picked up a 50lb box of 10 penny common galvanized nails to chuck at me. See, he always thought I was smartass, lazy, unmotivated, cocky, and self centered... I disagreed in mind... in my mind.. because I didn;t want a box of nails landing on my head unexpectedly, so I just took the insults and did what I was told to do..... hard to agree with him though being I had my forst job at aged 9 cutting dry ice in an ice cream distribution warehouse... then I graduated to the lumberyard, once I was tall enough to almost reach the foot pedals on the smallest forklift that lived in the basement of the lumberyard.... I learned how to fidn my CHI down there, I also destroyed enough drywall to re-rock new orleans 3 times over.... see, I could run pretty fast, or if need be, grab my bmx bike and run away frommy uncle if I pissed him off enough... all for $20.00 every week.... the rest of my pay, was given to my mom to pay the rent and other bills, I was a poor kid.
So I tolerated his old school teachings to one day buy my first amp whatever it was going to be...when I had almost $150.00 saved up and hidden in a hollowed out copy of one of the Hardy Boys adventure books, I rode over to Maclaren's music about 1/2 a block fromwhere I own a bicycle shop now... I walked in, Bruce the owner, was talking to a customer but took the time to say "Hello Frank" and smile dryly in his mid afternoon alcohol endevour, I headed right toward the amps, where Ron Kayfield was putting price tags on some of them. He turned around and greeted me with a laughy, "Yo Frank, how's it goin, how's the head doin?'" He heard I bashed my head in in a BMX race 2 weeks prior cause he used to buy weed off of my mom.....sweet....
I "replied, hi Ron My heads o.k. It hurts still at nite, but I guess I'll be o.k." He commented on the scar and the stiches/staple marks that left an erratic jagged line across my forehead....almost looking like a hatchet mark...
I hand Ron my $150.00 and he says, "I got a great amp for you, and you'll have some money left over, o.k.?" He carries out a champ from benind a wallof huge ampsand says, "you gotta hear this little monster" Ron then grabs an old stratocaster from behind the counter, just like my white one I had at home, but this was a real Strat a fender.. I had a copy.. it was cheap and a gift from my mom, but it broke in half one day just before I was supposed to play an outdoor festival on the art museum steps.. cause one of the strap buttons was loose and the strap came off and it went careening down to the ground.... like 3 steps down... and hey it had a huge crack in it...luckily someone was nice enough to lend me a guitar.. a lespaul... and I havenlt played one since...it weighed more than I did.....ugh...
So, Ron plugs in the champ plugs the strat into the amp and Bruce says, "give himthe guitar Ron, allow Frank to play" Bruce liked to talk slowly and with intent.. lots of intent, I liked Bruce, you knoew exactly where you stood with him...
Ron hands me the strat, and as I'm playing thinking to myself, "fuck man, this amo sucks" he suddenly turns it up full blast... then I heard, Clapton, Joe walsh, Jerry Garcia, Robin Trower, Jimmy Page and everyone else I used to spend all nite listening to instead of sleeping getting ready for school the next day......
That Amp the CHamp, changed my life forever....It was/is small only 8 watts, but like any good worker if you know how to use your tools you can get the job done... and I did with that Champ...then one dumbass day I bought a Roland Jazz Chorus 120, cause one of my friends had one so to match his volume (to loud) at band practice I had to get one.... Ilost track of the Champ, I loaned it to someone and forgot about it, being as busy as I was as a kid and young adult, until last winter while trolling at guitar center with my ear plugs in of course...I saw this little black and silver gem on top a pyramid of amps..... I was magnetically atracted to itit pulled me over to it with it's presence....
There were Marshall stacks being abused, Mesa Boogie amps getting beaten alive by men and women of all ages all in the name of rock and roll.....
I interrupted one of the sales Genies at GC and told him I wanted to see the Champ..
Then like a gofer another Sales Genie pops his head up from behing the counter and says, "Oh! THe Champ!..cool dude, grab a guitar I'll get it down" I go and grab a telecaster and he hands mea chord then plugs the champ in, I turn it upside down and he says, "Umm, dude.... what'r ya doin?"
"Looking for my initials" I respond, he says, "oh, bitchin... is.... it yours or something?" I don;t answer just yet, but as I tilt it toward the light, on the inside of the speaker box just below the chassis, I see it {FMB} in my carved scraggle... "It used to be mine", I look at it more closely, I know where that scratch came from, and that one and that one and look the grill frame is still broken...haha...I plug the tele into it and everything disappears around me,the air goes out.... it just me and my first amp, my champ alone again, back together a reunion, like a faithful dog that git lost and then recovered by his loving owner.....yeah, guitars and amps are like that people.....
some time passes, dunno how much.. as I return from planet Frank to GC there's about15 people standing around me with Ron at the front... he looks at me and says, "I knew that was your amp, and I knoew you'd find it again.." where did you learn thatdanny gatton thing anyway?"... people were smiling, asking if they had anymore champs, Ron says not like that one,
I ask Roon to hold it for me as I was coming back the next day for it. I trade my old Kramer Bass for it straight up cause Ron, says so.....
I love my Champ and in the name of Rock, I salute it and it is my main amp now and forever.... people hear it mostly at the bike shop these days, but when they hear it they can't believe the tone it posesses.....
like anything in life, things you let go come back in time maybe it's just a waiting game, pacients is a virtue in some ways, but my uncle thinks it's laziness.
To quote the great Bill Murray, " I'm pacing myself.." through this life.

go out and find some Donavon Frankenreiter, beautiful music for tough economical times..... awesome.

Yo Eagles......

2008-01-01T18:10:00.000-08:00

Draft Colt Brennan... please......he's one of those born leaders with talent..... please? Mark these words... he will win superbowls....Yes, I said this January 1 2008, and no I'm not drunk, or crazy, or dillusional, or misguided..... mark my words. He's a winner.

On a Bender

2008-01-01T07:53:00.000-08:00

Wow,
what a fun few days/weeks, who can count the time that's passed...
Pam and I went to Silk City for dinner last Friday and had a blast, great food, great music, super fun atmosphere... go there, eat drink be merry partake....
Traded a used and abandoned Haro BMX bike toa customer for a 13 year old Fender PBase, set it up, restrung it with Flatwounds... yess... I love flatwounds, they give you the right Fump and boomp....been playing toomuch bass lately and love it, It;s more natural for me I just seem to have the hips for it..... Listening to lots of soul and motown because, y'know it was all about the groove... no not slappy funk, I'm talking about soul.... and some TV theme songs,like Sanford and Son, one of my favorite bass riffs ever..... sick stuff.
My bikes are dusty, the beer bottles are not dusty, the trails are wet and the roads are too chilly for me to partake.
THis past Sunday night,Pam and I went back down to the Art museum after spending the day there looking at art, me I was studying the brush strokes and other things that interest me, it really moves me.
So, back down to the Art Museum at night in the rain, sipping Limoncello getting drenched laughing, walking the grounds, philly is beautiful at night....

Happy new year everyone.......and has this ever happened to anyone italianor sicilian?

2007-12-30T21:46:00.000-08:00

I made home made's.. ie Ravioli tonite?... and I think I made my pasta a wee bit too thin...but ahhhhh... it was amazing....tender, delicate, sexy, alluring, passionate.. yeah,it's food but isn't food an art, sublime intoxicating?... hmm..I finished on # 2 on my macaroni machine..( the hand cranked version...) wondering if I should have stayed afloat over 4.........eh?... but it was beaqutiful..
Happy new year everyone.. you know who loves you.....
Frank...

People ask me stuff allof the time..#3

2007-12-22T13:59:00.000-08:00

People ask me stuff all of the time, like today someone asked me who my hero's were... guitar hero's anyway.
Cool, well I had to answer swiftly cause the list is not that long. Nope,I'm not a grouch, it;s just that I see alot of similarities in alot of guitar players and not enough uiqueness, like phrasing and taste... sohere goes.. (or here it went)
1.) Jimmy Page
2.) Joe Walsh
3.) Redd Volkaert
4.) George Harrison
5.) Keith Richards (Keef)
6.) James Burton
7.) Jerry Reed
8.) Scotty Anderson
9.) Rick Neilsen
10.) John Hammond

Shop bike update

2007-12-21T15:53:00.000-08:00

I know or at least hope every shop has a "shop bike" It's a must, the beer runner, the chinese food go getter, the pizza go getter, the whatever bike.
Here is ours.

the pros and their 26 inch wheels

2007-12-21T09:22:00.000-08:00

I've been more than curious as to why the pro mountain bike community have not made the transition to 29er bliss.... I can't find an answer anywhere. It's almost anti-establishment, I'm waiting for Ralph Nader to step in and declare 26 inch wheeled mountain bikes "unfit for human use" due to the large number of converts now riding 29ers.
Then ( I Laugh loudly at thee/thine whatever you weirdos ) at the cultist crowd riding the 26/29 setup... for christs sake, get off of the fence...... I enjoy tooling around on a 26inch wheeled mountain bike yes, but I enjoy the 29er much more overall.
I asked Tinker this question a few months ago and hepretty much landed a Marlin with his answer, "I've never ridden one, what do they feel like?" I was mortified, I snarfed beer out of my nose and dropped a full bag of oreos ontoSmooty who was asleep on my feet..... how, why, what?
But the hardtail is still the weapon of choice in the XC circuit, of course after all it's still in the climbing, not the descending where you "take" time fromyour competitors. If you break your opponents on the climbs, they'll have to take into consideration that they will more than likely experience more risk descending to "take back" time on you.... it's somewhat of a poker match and snowball fight, lay down some pimp hand early so your opponents have to counter you. Make them work, don't wait anything out.... that'll be the end of your day.

oink!

2007-12-20T16:42:00.000-08:00

Been a while since I blogged...well, been busy with lots of things, there is a life to be lived outside of the world I am known in. But in a nutshell, I have been spending time with Pam and the kids, and writing and recording alot of music.... I mean alot of music. evryone I know has talked me out of my negativity about the bikeshops existence, so It lives.....and I'd rether it live formore than just my interest, it's a community fixture. Community meaning more than one community besides good ol' H-town, which is my first priority. I have a responsibility to the communities, so anyone jumping up and down celebrating mebowing out of a fight....well, I'm "puttin on the foil"... see slapshot for that quote... it's a gem.
Yeah, so I'm still here, I've actually seemed to have lost quite a bit of weight for some reason, and no I haven't had my winter hair cut yet and I may not get one, but I finally shaved this morning, looking like Kenny Rogers was starting to scare the shit out of my wife....creepy as it was....went to water works last night with Pam, kicked a bottle of champagne as we walked around and admired the new renovations underway... cool stuff. THough I am seriously dissapointed about the brick pavers or rather the paver layout or better the morons who did the work. It;s shit, sloppy and not well thought out. At the junctions where the pathways meet up, there should have been more input from someone who thinks in 3D and not just turn some apprentice loose cutting brick pavers into odd misfit shapes to create a "joint" to veer off of into oblivion.. or down a new path.. it looks shitty.
My resolution?.. O.K. At each intersection, that is from any angle, there should have been a pattern laid down, one which would not creat ugly seams that could be approached from each uniquely skewed path, therefore foregoing the ugly as shit straight choppy hard edges left by the pavers.....
I mean c'mon....

So, I've spruced up the shop cruiser to handle better woth a full case of beer in the front basket, being I changed the handle bars to a swept back wider style from the straight and low "drag bars" which chewed your knuckles up with the basket in front of you... they were a bit gnarly ande shetchy with a full case of beer up front.....scary indeed...

Happy Holidays everyone everywhere.... see you in the woods.....

Christmas party 2007

2007-12-11T14:38:00.000-08:00

Erik and Hedy (married at Burning Man this past summer) held a Christmas Party at their house this past Saturday evening, some literal 7 blocks from our house, it was a great party. Hedy, worked her tail off to get the food and house in order for the guests, which seemed like over 100 at one point......awesome. Burning Man footage was projected in the backyard, celebrating a monumental breakthrough for Erik, Hedy and their close friends, it was obviously a beautifulexperience with the wedding capping it off perfectly.
A few of our team mates were there with their spouses in tow, and it was Ed's birthday.. and his wife is Preggers... awesome!..... nice folks they are. Ed, brings sprout to all of you folks with pee-wees at home.. say yay!...
Rexy was there, so was Chris O, Frankie, Damien, and a few others whose names escape me......
I didn't even recognize Frankie because every time I have seen her, she had a helmet on.....I'm a stupid ass, holy moly....I've known who Frankie is for like over 20 some years..I remember when she had a purple klein.....shit I am pretty dang lame eh? But what'sa boy to do when he only sees a chica with a helmet on, then suddenly she's sans, mud, sweat and not bleeding from an arm or leg...?... can an old head get a break?..
Frankie almost laughed herself out of her black sweater and jeans when I suddely and abruptly interupted her after fucking standing next to her for 25 minutes by exclaming, "OH My GOD FrankiE!!! holy shit I didn;t recognize you!!!!! I'm sorryyyyy!!" she just laughed and gave me a hug... she's nice like that and though It was funny...... ironically, (spelling anyone?..wtf?) we talked more at the party than we ever have....weird how that is, and i like that. I dig Frankie, always thought she was mucker and grinder, but never got to tlaking with her. I like her more now than I ever did and maybe she understands me now. See, I was sort of a myth until you had a chance to meet me from what my friends tell me, people knew of me ut didn;t see memuch in old wiss in the 80's and early 90's.. well, that's cause as the 80's were winding down, I was traveling some, and once the early 90's broke the horizon, I had gone almost cold turkey from not only racing but woods riding entirely, though I did take a few dedicated soulful riders under my wing, riders who loved and understood the smell, feel and emotive inspiration that is basically mountain biking......
The party was amazing, and I need to get Hedy;s recipe for her "Dates stuffed with Gorgonzola cheese and proscuitto..." that's right... you'renot hallucinating... they were fucking crazy good.... I had a near miss in the party foul sense of hanging out at that dish with another party goer just inhaling these little bastards.. oh god, they were that good......

more "people ask me stuff all of the time"

2007-12-05T15:41:00.000-08:00

I was relaxing in the shop the other day, and a customer came in who plays guitar, he likes to come in and ask me bike and guitar questions, and I like amswering them.. it's harmonious...pretty slick eh?
So I'm just noodling around to some allison kraus stuff on wxpn, and he asks, "dude, how do you get that sound?" he's looking at my amps which are in the shop in the winter time. I answer, "ah, yeah man, It's the champ and the micro amp, sweet combo", my favorite of all of my stuff I have... and it is...it's simple elegant and sounds great.
See, the thing is, lots of guitarists like the smaller amps, ie fender champ, ampeg rocket, the smaller supro amps (like Jimmy Page used in the studio....yip) ZZ top used em, clapton, matthew sweet, lenny kravits, Dave Grohl, Mick Jones, even Eddie VH used a small amp.. a champ actually to get some of his best tones, cause you can run them pedal to the metal and not kill yourself in the process, or destroy recording equipment....Small amps are like the unicanitors of the music world.. they are the platform of your rig....once you experience one, your hooked....good use of the unicanitor metaphor, If I could I;d pat myself on the back and kiss my own ass for that one.
*note* running huge stacks of amps in a studio is not always a good thing to do, it tends to distort at the microphone or cause distortion which clouds the tone, and makes you go,"Umm, it doesn;t sound like that when I play with my band".... cause it;s too loud..
Case in point PETE TOWNSEND, who I love and respect alot. Uses Highwatt amps... they're designed to be run full out, cranked, it's designed for live performances.. where the PA is not the support of the sound system.. in other words, you wanna hear the guitar, use 10 of them in a wall configuration... before modern soundsystems caught up to musician input and innovation..
That's why I like the small amps.. gimme a microphone in front of one and I'll squeeze out some tone.

here's some solid news.

2007-11-29T06:51:00.000-08:00

After speaking with my wife and Mike Fitzpatrick, I'm staying with the shop. It's a community staple in regard to business. I have to be here and I belong here. I guess I'm just somewhat dissapointed in how I handled some business dealings. Things change, I will not succumb to any sales rep hoo-haever again, Nor will I back away from my responsibilities regarding accountability for decision making. In other words, It's my fault because I chose to listen to the wrong people. So be it, start fresh. I have a solid reputation, my shops work speaks for itself.

Though to begin anew, I am actively seeking employment for after 5:00pm monday through fridays, and weekends if need be. Anyone looking for a solid person with my skills, give me a shout.
I'd like to do something within my realm such as sales, design, art or music.

Please contact me at your convenience.

itchy scratchy

2007-11-25T20:03:00.000-08:00

well, it was destiny. Lilly the new Kitten has brought fleas into our home....Friday evening was spent, giving a bth to a resistent in heat cat "Booboo".. I got shredded, blood, missing skin.... the noises booboo was making were satanic. THen I tried to give Kitty a bath.. that lasted about 30 seconds. With Pam bleeding from the face and arms, and me bleeding from the arms, chest and hands I threw in the towel with a solid "fuck this" take her to the groomer tomorrow. Pam agreed whole heartedly.
Even Elvis got a bth, but he likes getting a bath, he's dog they are more trusting i'd guess.
Lilly got 2 baths, and she;s little so my wife could take her, no problem.
Sunday I was supposed to ride Belmont with Larry and maybe Bruce, but after walking Elvis 3 times at different points in the am hours, I was pretty wiped. I actually took him out with a towel on at one point.....I was tired and had alot of house work to do so, I didn;t get to ride. But I did get some house stuff done which is cool.

spent the day with Pam, relaxed and watched m0vies....

Giving Thanks.. and also some no thanks..

2007-11-21T16:56:00.000-08:00

I am thankful
For my friends, casual or close, your friends are your friends.
For my Family, Pam, The Kids, My dog, the cats and my fish.... yeah, I like my fish, they rock.
For my inspiration.
For my artwork.
For my Music.
For my work ethic.
For my tenacity.
For my will.
For my memories.
For my future.
For Viagra.
For beer, wine and champagne.
For Sushi.
For mud.
For riding my bike.
For being able to ride a bike again.
For being able to walk and talk again after some realy bad head injuries.
For a friendly smile from a stranger.

On the flipside, here's a few things I'm not so thankful for.
For my tattoo, I don't even know why I got it, I hate it.
For my hardheadedness.
For my inability to excersize patience when I need to the most.
For my lost memories.
For my casual way.
For my willingness to help people even if it hurts me.
For my selflessness.
For my lack of selfishness.
For my instincts which I tend to not listen to when I should.

Time for a change?

2007-11-15T01:43:00.000-08:00

It's 4:30 am and I can't go through another niteof not sleeping,It's time for a change.

Reasons below;

I don't take a paycheck home from my bike shop, though it does well, there's just no way to pay me and keep it alive. All of the profits go to paying bills, ie taxes, rent, utilities, inventory, and paying part time employees. I don't make a dime, My bikes I own, I paid for them. I'm frustrated with not earning a living fromsomething that I put so much of myself into.

Sales Reps undermining my business. Yeah, nice eh? One particular went so far as to brag to his family members who I know, about how he was going to put me out of business by loading me up with inventory I'd never sell, at least not in the first 6 months.... a crucial pointin a retail business. Well, I got through that scheme. I also got rhough the scheme of catching a sales rep selling things out of his garage that weren't (according to him) even avalable yet, I was given a prime bullshit excuse as to why it was happening.....I am not a prick, so I let it slide.... after hearing about the undermining attempt from people close to him. Then said sales rep, avoided my shop like the plague, only being visible less than a handfull of times in 1 1/2 years since that moment of catching him selling things out of his garage. I also had been hearing all sorts of nice nasty things from other dealers who's shops have been around longer than my shop has, regarding this rep.

In speaking with inside reps from other companies, it seems quite a few dealers are dropping a line of bikes I (used to) carry, due to unusual circumstances. ie; not being able to get bikes for customers, not hugely expensive road ormountain bikes mind you,more like $1200.00 mountain bikes, being told the bikes they needed weren't as important to make available as other bikes were....credit reduction or unable to hold an open balance large enough to stock their stores almost as if they've become a C.O.D. account, which is bad news for any retailer when your supplier suddenly cuts credit down to, wellzero you can;t sell their stuff if they don;t give it to you on time based on the volume you need to do to pay for it. It becomes a downward spiral for the retailer.

I need to star bringing home a paycheck from my shop. My accountant is demanding that I do.... but theres no money for me to do such a thing. My wife is pretty much done with the bike shops lack of financial return to me, after all I have financially invested in it and also the time I invest in it.

I love what I do, but I may be interested in selling the shop and getting a job where I can make money, after all one can only work for free for so long, then it starts to become a burden.

It's either I sell the shop, or moonlight with a second job to hand my wife a paycheck. I'd rather Moonlight versus sell, but I will sell if it's the better thing for me to do for my family.

Other bike shop owners, How do you build capital to a point where your bike shop is profitable for you?
I put myself on a 3 year plan, which was "take nothing from the bike shop for 3 years so that it may establish itself financially"
Well, it's past that 3 year point and I'm not making any money.

Coffe shop inside the bike shop. I've been thinking about this since before I opened. But now, I don't have the capitol to invest to make it happen, which is somewhat of a bummer. I didn;t do it initially because I wanted to ensure the bike shop was solid, before investing money in coffee stuff and new plumbing needed to pass local health codes.

Technical cyclocross riding?

2007-11-09T09:45:00.000-08:00

Yep. I'mnot talking about the dismount and remount, or run, or carry or push... I'm talking about riding.
Sounds easy, get on, pedal,get off run, right?... WRONG.....
Pedaling in cycling is.. well what cycling is, it's about pedaling anywhere you can, everywhere you are able to do it. Too many cyclocross racers coast more than necessary, or more better put, coast more than know how to pedal.
Examples:
Long sweeping corner - I've observed riders who pedal, coast, turn pedal, coast, then sprint out of a corner.... there is another way.
Tight hairpin turn - this is the biggest offending drawing type of corner. Riders pedal, coast, over brake, creepwround the corner in mini stop and go stylings and it slows them down too much....
Here's how to do it
LONG SWEEPING CORNER approach the corner at the widest outer edge keep pedaling, if the corner is sweeping, pedal through it and TURN your bike, don;t lean it as you would in a road race or even a mountain bike race, you can slide your ass to the inside of the body apex of the turn and still pedal through it.. mainting momentum through and out of the corner.. try it, you'll like it.
Tight hairpin or u-turn corner Approach the corner, pedaling... as you see your line infold, keep pedaling and drag your front brake as you pedal through the corner while you turn your handlebars toward the exit line out of the turn, you may feel an accelleration as you do this and it may freak you out. No biggee, just slide your inside hip toward your hub as you keep pedaling, this will give you forward traction and get keep you moving forward and through the corner... try it and be patient. It may feel awkward at first, but soon enough you'll be rocketing through the corners, instead of coming to a near stop then sprinting to make up perceived lost ground or time...
Stay smooth and relax, never touch your rear brake in a flat corner unless you enjoy losing control of your bike.
Yes, I know, I am not a race winning guy anymore, but I do know a few old tricks, I just do them slower now....

Did someone ask for a band?

2007-11-07T12:42:00.000-08:00

O.k.
Mr.Kuhn, Hebe, others names unknown tome, have inquired about live music for events....
I'm game. So, being that I'm game I have put out some feelers on the masslist... nothing, no fishing there "odd" But I gotta tell you, craigslist may have some f'ed in the head fixie bikes posted and selling like hot cakes for all of the wrong reasons, but I must counter the weirdo bike postings with a positive response from the musicians category. seems like some of these folks think like I do, a few of them even said they knoew who I was.... scary at best. So, I have 4 drummers to audition 2 horn players and one of the drummers has a bass player he likes toplay with...
SEE, drumers are like Jedi's they always show up with their own driods.... o.k. cool.... Bass players are not droids, but if a drummer and bass player come together itmakes things alot easier... like in a madison, (ahem mike kuhn...off road madison.. cross bikes.. c'mon big guy, let's do it..makeit happen) if you groove with someone... then it makes that feleing out process alot easier...
Me,I'll probablly be singing orplaying guitar and directing the band at a minimum. yes, I play the bass but I'm not a bass player by trade... kind oflike trackie saying they've ridden a mountain bike.... a couple of times....but at nationals and stuff... yeah, it's that wild for me....
looking for some keys still.....
Music will be remakes of pop songs but lunged out and fun pretty much perfect for where I wanna be with music right now.... fun, open music, take no prisoners approach about lounging any song....
Martini's required Cosmopolitan's also a strong component, beer, yeah, but in a glass for a classy tact.
all I need is a tux and we'll make international bike racing history or at least kick off a new mandatory series must have... live music that gives people another reason to go.
Oh and we do weddings too..... really we do....

Get well Pop

2007-11-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

Heard my Grandfather had a stroke today. He lives in Naples, Italy. His wife doeasn;t allow himtocontact anyone stateside... at all. He secretly has a cell ohone which he uses to contact us..infrequently. None of us have the number, we only get the number when he calls one of us. He had this stroke on Saturday Morning getting out of bed. I had a dream Saturday evening as I wa ssleeping that he was talking to me trying to get me to help him but it was vague. I though I had expressed this to my wife, but she doesn't remember it, maybe it was at 1"30 in the morning cause that's when I woke up, feeling something wasn't right with him, but I couldn't put my finger on it.
My mother spoke to him and she said he just has some slurring in his speech, and he says the lef side of his face is effected. he is apparently in "the best" rehab facility in Naples... That doesn't make me feel to giid about his situation. but it is what it is.
is side of the family does not talkto our side of the family because in their mind we have always been a 5th wheel. My grandfather was my grandmothers 3rd husband... so they didn;t respect us much I guess.
To Top it off ,my father was sicillian and policed my grandpops dads ice cream truck company with pride, led my grandfathers brothers ( who loved stealing money from their own father) to dislike us.
Though I personally ignored the ignorance,I went to the weddings (multiple by the same women.. and brought gifts...) and baby showers... and the bullshit family dinners, listened to the re-hab stories, and the bullshit hotshot affilliations... after I knew the hot shots and they didn't know these people.. at all.. funny for me anyway.
Being they keep any and all information about my grandpop from me or my family is obviously some sort of disembobied control issue, He stillmanages to contact us, once he gets wind of their inability to act polite to us.. after all we were the ones who ran his business, and took care of him, they.. took from him..money, loans, time, knowledge. We gave him us. he gave himself to us.
Now granted, my personal feelings are being effected, yes. Pop never really talked badly about my father, who according to my mother was pretty much Satan, or a clone of him, or satan was cloned fromhim,I can;t keep it straight.... it's confusing...
anyway, He just always commented that if he applied himself to something he;d rule that world...... sounds familiar.....I get tha,but my problem is I spread myself too thin....weird..
He also says and when asked by (not me) anyone, what Frankie's father was like, he stops talking, takes a drag from his lucky strike, dead pans you and replies, "the funniest person I ever knew, and he was a heck of a musician" Mymom if in earshot, agrees, always.
My grandfather never showed disrespect for anyone, even if they did himwrong, he just looked at it like, he didn't do something right,or could have done something different...
Now my Pop (grandpop) hadn't seen the kids since since Je and melissa were pretty much drooling psycho's at 3 and 5.. but he stooped back here to handle some business things and hung out in my shop for 3 days in a row ( some sort of record apparently) which was cool. He told me everyday how much he was surprised at of all people I got a little chubby....yeah, I know, I'm working on it....
Sowe meet for diner one night, and he is pretty much stunned at how grown up my kids are, and how polite and well behaved they are. He;s definitively shocked, says they look like they should be in Italy, they would fit right in, green or blue eyes, athletic and intelligent, and comfortable around adults.....
good stuff coming from him....I hope he gets well, I'll call him tomorrow on his stealth phone after an MRI.....

Distinguishing the classes

2007-11-06T04:51:00.000-08:00

People ask me things all of the time.
Like this curious inquiry:
"how can you tell a cat 5 from a cat 2, or better yet how can you tell a beginner mountain bike racer from an elite racer?"

Fair question. let's start with the cat 5 vs cat 2 inquiry shall we?
Cat5 roadies as compared to the heralded Cat2 roadie immediately distinguish themselves with what I call, floaters, or clues, sort of like amateuritis. Wherin their Cat2 brethren are more sensibly polished, honed and exude an errant calmness especially when you overhear them make the statement, "it's not that steep, I was in my 53X15 and was still able to attack at the top.."
A Cat5 would say somthing like this, "That climb was easy dude, I totally could have went off of the front if my brakes weren't rubbing the entire race...."
A Cat3 would say this, "yeah, 3 years ago I accidentally (?) got dropped, but this year I'm getting wider handle bars so I should be able to crank up that stupid pretty righteously, I may even podium..)
A Cat 4 would say this, "Oh yeah, I got dropped 2 years ago on that hill, but this year I should be o.k. I've been doing 2-a-days and motorpacing with traffic on my commute, besides I dropped 10 pounds over the winter because I started rinking more micro brew and eat less carbs, this way drinking them is supposedly way better for you anyway, dude check out my carbon fiber steerer tube cap I'm going to fly up that fucking climb I can't wait to apply for an upgrade!!"

The mountain biker catagorization is very dissimilar in respect to the distinguishing features that seperate the classes, her's how I see it:

Beginner racers don't say too much, mostly because they show petrified game face to the world on race day due to a lack of experience in what's going to happen to me and my $4,500.00 7" full suspension mountain bike today? If I scratch my bike my wife will totally kill my ass..." also, they sometimes pin their numbers on inside out ior upside down and carry gargantuan ammounts of water or gatirade in their hydration packs in excess of over 2 gallons. You sometimes can hear them sloshing around as they squeak along on their unlubed full suspension bikes.

Sport racers are in my opinion the easiest to spot or identify because they are mostly always dirty, have scratched up bikes and walk around hung over from the night before, or maybe they just look that way because they did a death ride of 50miles off road with a retired pro-elite racer the previous day before their race/ They somehow always look wiped out, and when they talk they talk way too fast and that's because they can;t control the redbull encouragement that has now infiltrated their brain. Sometimes they forget their number plates entirely and have to draw one out on a paper plate to get through the day.

Elite racers - way too easy most of them are perched on their road bikes warming up on a trainer for at least 2 hours before their race, sipping energizing liquids of some sort. THeir bikes are really clean and they have seperate warm up kits from their race kits.. or really short sleeved skinsuits. Their numbers are never pinned on upside down or inside out and are always, sculpted for the most aerodynamic advantage... cause they go fast, y'know...

Single speed Sport and Elite - Very difficult to distinguish the classes here, very tricky indeed. But there are a few identifiable monakers, mostly the sideburn growth or tattoo placement. Which are at times difficult to literally see, they tend to always cluster and bunch up off of the bike, they never sit alone primarily due to cosmic bond they all share, Young or newbie single speeders usually have converted bikes with 26" wheels, veteran single speeders have dedicated single speed 29ers, with very downplayed but expensive and specific componentry. They never walk a race venue empty handed there is always a microbrew in their hand and a biottle opener of sorts hanging from their baggy pants.

True hipster wear

2007-11-05T12:26:00.000-08:00

read a post on BSNYC regarding a new line of attire. Cycling specific jeans... nope I'm not kidding.

I could never wear these pants and here's why;
1 - I have a penisand a set of boys, that will not fit into these pants, ever. the geniuses who shot this picture must have selected a very boyish girl....
2 - they cost $360.00... fuck you that's stupid.
3 - they suck pretty bad
4 - I don't have a matching hipster hat to wear with them
5 - my ass is entirely way too ghetto botty-ish to fit into these clown pants.
6 - clown pants are cooler
7 - they cost more than a case of beer

The debunking of cycling urban legend....

2007-11-05T10:09:00.000-08:00

The following post has been constructed in my head. I take full and sole responsibility for any and all debunking, unravelling and exposure to any and all myths named, exposed, unfolded and revealed thus forth...if any of the further posting infuriates, upsets, hurts your feelings, makes you feel stupid, causes bewliderment or insults you, your bike or bike parts, please take a moment or 2 and get over yourself.

Myth #1 That $1500.00 wheelset will make you faster.
Debunking - this took some research, I'd have to partialy disagree and only debunk half of the statement. You will only be faster up short hills. Specifically because your wallett will be significantly lighter. Debunked.

Myth #2- Hanging out with "roadies" entitles you to feel more important than your grubby bretheren, the "mountain biker"
Debunking - Hanging out with roadies only entitles you to make fun of other roadies, primarily in the fashion sense or lack of.
example
#1a never wear black socks on a summer training ride, the rule is white only and they must be nearly nonexistent in height.
#1b ensure your legs are devoid of any and all hair visible to the seasoned grizzled roadie, any sign or evidence of unsupervised folicular activity could result in your being allowed to lead up the first climb as the "peleton" rides the other direction unbeknownst to you and your hairy legs.
#1c any presence of dirt in any form or visible to a seasoned grizzled roadie may result in an avoidence of eye contact by the group ride leader, also one word or grunted answers may come your way if you ask any questions not deemdd suitable on said training ride.
#1d Cat4 and Cat 5 riders never socialize publicly with Cat 2 and Cat 3 racers, after much reasearch in this matter I have discovered that some cat 2 and cat 3 racers have friends who don't even have a bicycle thus only acknowledge them outside of cycing. Furthermore, cat 2 and cat 3 racers only acknowledge cat 4 and cat 5 racers if no other cat 2 or cat 3 racers are present or along on that specific training ride.

Myth #3 - We're not going hard today Any roadie that announces in email form or publicly at a group ride gathering that "we're going to do an LSD ride, maybe 45-60 miles easy" is a nice thoughtful person and wants to not be overtrained by March 1st.
Debunking any time a grizzled and seasoned roadie tells you that, take it as the opposite of the definition of the word "not" Going easy means, going hard enough to try and kill you and leave you for dead 48 miles from home with blown legs, severe dehydration and a mutillated ego. Roadies are akin to a poker player "just sitting in on a hand" they always play to win. Roadies are always baked fromriding too hard in winter and subsequently blame it on their mountain biking friends for "making them ride off road".. even if they only did 3 mountain bike rides all winter....

Myth #4 - Shaving your legs is a must do act of the competitive cyclist reasoning I shave my legs so it's easier to massage them.
Debunking Lies....racing cyclists amateur anyway, only shave their legs so other people can see theirmusculature or their hard thought out cycling tattoos. Pros shave their legs beause they get rubbed down regularly and also treated with heating creme's and other ointments aiding them to earn a living on their bikes.

Myth #4 - My sideburns are my strength Single speed mountain bikers and Cyclocross racers follow a mantra or ritual of growing out their sideburns or other facial hair togive them strength and purpose for their efforts put forth.
Debunking I was unable to debunk this legend or myth, after much research into this topic I was unable to debunk though conversely I was able to have alot of "personal experiences" with this myth or legend.
Such as
#2a At any given mountain bike race where a single speed racer is in attendence, they are flanked by others very envious of their growth in the sideburn region of the face and skull. Admiration, worship in a godlike status, shocking awe was witnessed by myself.
#2b They all beat me handily, never seeming to tire at any point, though I was so far off of the back I couldn;t actually witness their racing prowess, nonetheless my personal experiences in this matter have led me to believe that this legend or myth is not able to be debunked.
Footnote
Even some of the women with excessive hair primarily in the armpit region of their body were able to slam me onto the pain mat and grind me into a pulp of twisted clean shaven humbleness. No facial hair was witnessed on any of the women at any time during my research, though that's not saying it'snot possible. I wasn't able to get over to Greece, or Turkey to do any reasearch, nor were there any Armenian women present at any races where I did my research.

Myth #6Approved wardrobe gazing You can wear a sleeveless jersey on a road ride, with active racing roadies.
debunking This myth was debunked so fast I wasn't even able to get out of my car without one of them rolling over to where I was parked and downing a cold one sternly knocking on my window in curt disapproval stating "you're not wearing that are you?"

Myth #7 - White shoes are not necessarily necessary on an April training ride Roadies allow you to ride at the front even if your shoes are black or older than 4 years of obsolescence. Pedals also fit into that category.
Debunking Entirely debunked, strongly debunked. You may only get time at the front if you have new shoes and they are white or silver (the less black areas on the shoe the farther up in the "peleton" you are permitted to ride) I took string evidence back with me supporting the debunking, if you have dark colored shoes you are not permitted anywhere near the front, for any reason... ever.

Myth #8 - Triple chainrings are welcome 3 chainrings are great on a road training ride, no worries.
Debunking Debunked. No they are not, if you have a bike with triple chainrings, no matter who you are you will only be allowed to ride with the groupetto or peleton once, then next sunday you better show up with a new crankset or you will be told, "we're going pretty hard today, we wouldn't want to lose you anywhere, sorry." 3 chainrings is frowned upon strongly.

Myth #9 - I don't care if you have a visor on your helmet Visors on road helmets is okay and doesnot effect the cosmic harmony that is a group road ride.
Debunking oh my god, this was so debunked it startled me. I lay witness to one mountain bike racer wearing his helmet with the visor attachedwho was approached slowly with caution by an obvioous cat 3 racer who proceeded to ask him, "Dude, you forgot to take your visor off..." the mountain biker just looked blankly at the cat3 and without blinking snapped his visor off and rode over to his car, but as he was doing so, the cat3 summoned the group to hightail it out of there before he got back.... this perplexed me.

Mundaze

2007-11-05T07:32:00.000-08:00

after opening today "monday" 3 college students came in and asked to take somepictures for school, a project. I get that maybe 3 times a year. Cool by me, snap away. One of them asked me what the guitars were about, I gave the student the dl on the guitar thing in my shop. So, the student asked me to play a little, so I plugged in and played a bossanova version of vanhalen's runnin with the devil. They were more interested in listen to how I played or re-arranged the song than taking pictures... but they did take someanyway. I just received this in my email... artsy fartsy students are kind of fun.

the golden age of comedy

2007-11-04T10:28:00.000-08:00

awesome halloween cross costumes

2007-11-04T07:52:00.000-08:00

This is awesome..

Thumpity thump thump

2007-11-03T06:14:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 4:30today, seemingly to get ready for the fairhill cyclcross race, but no. My head was banging badly, throbbing, my eyes hurt. So, I like a genius shook my head to see if it would hurt, like when you have a fever... ow, it hurt bad, really bad. Lilly decided it was time to start chewing on me as I lay there, that hurt also. Then Kitty hopped up onto the bed, to try and get lilly out of her way to have some Kitty time. A fight broke out on top of me, after several heavy handed wallops from kitty tolilly's head, Kitty decided to abandon the brawl to go and sulk in the bathroom, as Lilly shook her own cobwebs from her grey noggin.
I got up to pee... wow, dizzy, head hurts alot. I waddle to the bathroom, kitty is doing circles in there waiting for me to arrive so I can pet her.
We bond, all is well in Kitty's world. I go back to bed. Lilly is asleep on my pillow.I move her, she doesn't move she's a heavy sleeper. but as soon as you touch her, she purrs... she's cute.
I lay back down, my stomach turns a little.... great, now I have to puke. Back to the bathroom, Kitty is doing circles again. I'm hunched over the toilet bowl,naked wit a cat rubbing on me asI dry heav into the toilet. Kitty wants a look. She stands on her back legs and looksinto the toilet bowl. I look at her, she meows then tries to paw at my face. I hurl. Game over no fair hill today. I even bagged bring my wife coffe for her and the other moms who spent an evening camping at Merry place with 80 girl scouts, that how much my head hurt. By 8:00 I decided it was time to get out of bed and walk Elvis who was doing some soft shoe trying to get me out of bed. My head hrts less, but it still hurts ennough to make me wince.
NO racing today for me. so it's in to work.
And now it's raining, great, I love rain especially cyclocross and rain and it;s cold.... it's awesome outside,literally beautiful I know it's gonna be a great day at fairhill.
Hebe sent out a request for people to play at his race. I was game was going to do some Jazzy lounge versions of some foofighters and nirvane, even the sex pistols.. ala Richard Cheese style... but I can;t even play my hands are shaking so bad right now....
another time.

butt baby

2007-11-01T16:54:00.001-07:00

Surf king

2007-10-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

Between fixing cute kids bikes and otherfun bike repairs I check email, look for updates of all sorts and....read other bike geeks philosophical approach to improving their game.
Been noticing there;s lots of Chatter(an old CB term) about working on your starts....yeah, good idea. but practicing starting and starting in a race are 2 tasks that maybe don't carry over as well as one may hope.
before you stop by to kickme in the balls for being an asshole, give me a second.
If you have a bmx bike in your arsenal, dust it off, then continue reading.
Every race has a begining and an end. the end may come after 1 lap or the duration of the race, The sum of the parts equate to the whole.... like ingredients in a stew or soup or lasagna, if you skimp somewhere it's gonne show in your end result... especially starts.
Most amateur (or beer league good reference Marc) racers just like to race, show and go, they learn bu osmosis, or by accident. Which is fine for some.
Wanna get super quickat starts,break out your BMX bike, practice starts...... or break out your road bike and practice Criterium starts.... fast starts, blazing balls to the wall starts.......
Just be sure todo a minimum of 1 hour warm up before any of these practice runs or you will feel like total assand burn up allof yor glycogen too soon.... and peter out quickly..

more of Velo-cross

2007-10-30T05:42:00.001-07:00

velo-cross pics

2007-10-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

1st lap, rain is coming down prety steadily,

Miracle Mud

2007-10-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

That's Rich Bilson, DCCofD cult member and Fort Frames team factory rider, chasing a rider on foot
In trying to describe Saturday's Lehigh Valley Velo-Cross race. Not too surprisingly I had failed, so to redeem myself, I've poached some photos off of dennisbike.com cause sometimes you just can't describe how big the mud puddle was that you got to play in. No frowns, no downs, just run ups and Hups.

From cyclingcaptured.com

2007-10-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

This is Kelly Cline. He's the Mid Atlantic Cyclocross scene's Larry Csonka, bloody knuckles and all.

Lehigh Velo-Cross Report

2007-10-27T14:54:00.000-07:00

No Velodrome though, but I did get to pee in the velodrome urinals, pretty tidy and hot showers. Did I use the Hot showers? Faakk no, I kept it grubby today, wiped myself down in my car, which felt more like public indescency. Met 2 nice doggies today, a blue tick coon hound named Libby and a PIt bull who's nameI forgot but she was really sweet and had the pinkest ears and nose ever, lots of kisses.....great way to end the day of practically illegal fun.
So on to the Begining of the festivities ( and I use that word loosely)....
OUr race went off without a Hitch, it had been raining on and off all evening rather heavily and the course was pretty wet and the mud was loose making the ground soft sucking your wheels in like a giaint Bike Hickey was going down.
Just as we were going off, It started to torrentially rain, it was insane, awesome, perfect. The spectating actually grew from what I took in before heading to the back lot for the start, people were going apeshit screaming huddling together, eating cheering.... I felt like I wasn't in this country. And the Mud was someting of legend. People are going to talkabout this race for a while, it was a quagmire people were unrecognizable, The roadies who race cyclocross were making poopy faces, the mountain bikers were pretty much riding like mouth breathers and eating the mud, taking it in as fuel. Me, I was trying to catch raindrops and my begging for beer and martini's was almost a success. Someone promised me a beer at the bell lap, and someway somehowI wasn;t paying attention to him as I ran though an unridable area and ran right past him as Mike Yozell heckled me saying, "he's had enough beer, go faster Frank" Damn you Mike,I'll get you back.....so they guy was happy to down/chug the beer for me apparently cause after the race he came upto me and introduced himself by burping his name.. I could;t tellif it was Don or Doug but it smelled damn righteous. Sucks it was his last beer though, but what a sport for trying to hand me uphis last one.
So I didn't race too well, my left calf muscle was torched by the end of the race, allof the dismounting, running and remounting just picked it clean of strength. My second to last lap hurt..... one of those deep hurts, my calf was freaking out twitching and it made me angry. FatMarc, MikeKuhn and others encouraged me on, even some cute little girl at the top of a run up said each lap, "here comes the guy with the pretty white uniform cheer for him mommy!!" so the last lap I gave her a hug and got her all dirty, she was happy, her mom laughed her ass off. So I finished 22nd about 15 inutes behind Justin who frigging killed everyone again, he's a horse and I like him, he wears his pajamas to races. He must be a rocket scientist or something like that. I was too fucking stupid to even bring dry socks somy feet look pretty much like portabello mushrooms right now and they smell like smooty's litter box after a run in with a jar of pork fat and mayonaise......
I couldn't even flat out of this race and i tried to crash myself out ofit but accidentally passed three people, who I let pass me back. Dammit....I was pretty much in my lowest gear the entire race exceptfora few places and I even used my big chainring in the back section after the ball field hoopty shoots.
The ladies took 2 laps to catch me this time, which is good for my ego anyway, I don't think they gause their progress on how fast they catch my sorry ass, it;s just how I gauge my progress. Lori came by me like I was standing stll holding a lamp posed next to a blue donkey..... fuck.. she is all game wow... Kimmy got fourth but being the obnoxious asshole I can be I was trying to coach her turns...during the race.. I need to just shut up I know that is annoying, though I was trying to help as I watched her cornering in front of me. Anne wasn;t feeling too well today, I eased up at one point and was going to maybe pace her up to the next gal ahead of her, cause I could sense she didn;t have a rythym today and I like Anne and wanted to help her. after a few minutesI had to pick up the pace cause I didn't see her behind me. Boohoo for Anne, but she has the most cazy awesome rain boots. I want a pair.
I seemed to be better off of the bike the first few laps, smooth, fluid and faster, I ran by somepeople only tobe passed again eventually cause I could push a higher gear. No biggee it'll come back eventually. My last lap was brutal, I saw god, had a spitting contest with Frank Zappa, laughed at cartoons woth Andy Warhol and was fellatedby Linda Lovelace, and that was all before the barriers on the topside.....From then on it was just me and Mr. Sinatra sharing melodies in Count Basey's band until I rolled over the finish line, where the announcer (nice guy by the way, though I do not know his name) made note that here comes the guy with the white kit on... way to go dude, I said, "thanks, beer me...please.. c'mon beer......please....I saw one bastard hide his behind his back which means he's seen someone in my condition before.. smart man, though I;d have to say he's selfish and doesn;t want to make new friends.
everyone did well today, it was as usual tons o'fun and I didn't hear very ,any cyclocross cliche's which in a way irritate me.
Mike Kuhn talked with me as I took advantage of the free trainer usage. He'sa really good guy, I like Mike.
Hebe Killed everyone in his class, I mean killed them. FatMarc landed a 3rd and Jeb plucked out a 2nd. Erica won her race, and Yozell got 2nd behind Davide Frattini, who never even looks like he;s breathing hard. I wanna drink from the same fountain he's drinking from jesus Christ the guy is an animal.
Kelly did well today also,I think he landed a 5thand he was smiling sort of the whole time,I think he likes getting dirt in his mouth, he seems to have an affinitty for squelching, blorpy mud riding. It seemsto suit his personality, gritty and steady y'know?
ransom Weaver looked strong the first lap but tapered after his 4th lap.His bike looked like it weighed about 40lbs.....ouch. The elite racers didn;t have the benefit of rain on them and the course stiffened up anough to where the mud turned into puppy shit and peanut butter.... very s l o w.
If you weren't there you missed a very fun race, shame on your lazy ass.

People ask me things all of the time

2007-10-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

Though I do not always have the answer they are looking for, someof the questions border intrapersonal,like "How come you don;t have more help?" I answer, "because the tree that grew allof the bike mechanics died in the early 1990's"
Like I say, not always the answer they are looking for, but nonetheless ( is that really one fucking word? holy shit...) sometimes I take a moment to contemplate a question that makes me stop what I am doing and think abou the answer, rather than fire off running on auto-pilot....
"how come you're not in a band? Yo're a great guitar player"
O.K. fair question though I disagree. I know great guitar players,I am not one of them, I get by on what I know or think I know how to do if that makes sense. I've recorded more records for free than alot of people could guess. For me, it's a losing proposition music is, it;s always been just something I could do in a natural sense, akin to growing up greek and speaking greek then people suggest you could be a greek translator for the government and make a k-jillion dollars just being greek all day 24-7 or XXIV-VII. There's always someone better, way better, more tasteful. And the way the nusic industry thrives today well, there are no hidden talents anywhere with all of the global access we have at our fingertips. It's not as rooted in stylistic soul as it once was. I'm a dinosaur so to speak, I'm not useful anymore. Sounds down right negative eh?( it;s hockey season..it;s timefor some eh?)
But it's not 'cause I woldn't want to play alot of the music I hear on the radio because what I do would get unfortunately lost, as would good poetry in a crowd of voices all shouting something unrelated to what you are speaking.....make sense?
I know my Place in the music world, I am learning my new place in bike racing, and it's hard for me. I used to be Prodigal so to speak at several things, though with skull fractures, numerous other limb surgeries and a penchant for avoind any public attention, I let it or allowed it to pass me by. I'm totally cool with that.
It;s like being in a karate class and you hold back in a sparring match, and you loose. It's not that you're not tough, you just don;t want the attention of destroying people or someone, that makes me very selfconscious and I avoid it. There were so many bie races I could have just rode away from everyone, but I just didn't want to because that's what people expected me to do, they;d actually say, " You're going towin today right Frank?" and I'dquietly waddle away to finish 3rd, or 5th not interested in winning a sprint because I didn't have anhything to prove. Jeez half of the time, I
dpick who I though was a god sprinter and tellhim to get on my wheel and I;d give him a leadout cause he was a nice guy and it would be nice to see him win..... maybe I'm a participating voyeur of sorts, like a playmaker not wanted to hammer home a goal, more happy making the magical pass.....
Now if I could get back to that point, I'd stop being such an asshole.... oi!

Pressing the Flesh

2007-10-26T16:36:00.000-07:00

Fun topic,it could go south in an instant but rather than be a total moronic douche bag, I'll go north to throw off my negativity hunting posse
Life here in Havertown, is in a sense ( or essence, depends in which bar you patronize and for good reason, hang in there it won;t take me long to get to my point.... by the way thaks for tolerating this useless bullshit, stop in for some free beer and dirty jokes, I'm most always here.....) sheeled or sheltered and for good reason, we are the 33rd county of Ireland. Yes, the 33rd county od Ireland which has, 32. O.K. cool, I'm not irish, I'm sicillian and sometimes fall shor in relating to the Irish sense of community. I didn;t have it growing up as a single parented kid with 2 jobs at 11 years old....It was hardfor me, pretty blue eyes and all.....yep.
I'mproud of our townships heritage and espect it immensely. I just wish some of the more seasoned ( or senior) residents had a more proactive approach to township matters, like street lamps, multi use pathways, and everyne plays frigging soccer here, Jesus Christ you;d think we lived in Ireland or Italy or Spain, it's insanely awesome, I love it here.
So in an unnoficial parlaying interest, ( kind of like publicly fishing, in shark infested waters and I'm wearing mid 1970'swgym shorts with my nuts hanging out the sides.....awesome picture painting.... it;s the right brain, just follow me I'm crazyyeah no shit....)
I would like to elect 3 specific individual to lead our township into the 22nd century ( we are in the 22nd centiry.. right? )
1.) Brendan Goggin - Mayor. I love the guy, he's enthusiastic, charismatic, grounded, and determinedto deem Havertown a success in anyway that he can.
2.) Trish Wooodman - Township event planner and orchestrator. Trish kicks somuch ass that Bruce Lee would be kicking her door in asking for lessons on how she does what she does. She is beyond aces in my book, she is supremely efficient in her tasks of planning events to bring Havertown into a new light. She is very important and needs our support, help her, offer her assistance.... befriend her.
3.) Bob Applegate - Everytime I see Bob, He is either engrossed in heavy cnversation of some sort. He always says hello at least to me anyway, and we are merely street sharing neighbors at best, friendly yes, but not much more. He has something in him that could propel groups of people forward though I don't think he knows it. I think Bob is a force unrealised and has a future in mass PR or group leadership guiding families toward a new horizon, of almost any sort. He's that kind of guy, I like Bob and I wish I knew him better.
Not much else here save for the few errant uturn jacasses hitting parked cars the speeding off into oblivion......
to quote Bill Murray for the zillionth time "It's miller time"

cross referencing cyclists, or the difference in the disciplines

2007-10-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

I get alot of feedback from not only customers, but cycling friends alike... or rather not alike. Yep it vexes me when they seek harmony in an ever evolving world and culture (or lack of therefore mentioned) finind someway to "all just get along?"
My spin (no pun intended) on the topic of cyclismo harmony en grata is dark at best, muddled in reality, laden with superlatives best saved for early morning blogging over ethiopian coffee enjoyment as my family snoozes away while I am being slowly eaten alive by the little grey monster named Lilly boom boom, the kitten from another planet....

Unicyclists

I almost got a headache when someone asked me recently "why do people ride unicycles?" My right eye twitched and then my face went numb. I returned the favor and not so much shared my thought of why ask me, but more or less seasoned a response that came out looking like a steak dinner served on a rusty garbagecan lid.
"I don't know, why is your sister the biggest whore in town?" Al I got in return for my retort was a nod of understanding and a clink of a beer bottle against mine as I was taking a swig, thanks for almost knocking out my teeth, dillweed.
Though to answer the question and offer an answer to the mystery of unicycling I would put it this way. Unicyclists are the D&D crowd you knew in 7th grade. They can juggle, conjour up spells cruel anough to send you to a place that they live in as they plot ways to get to their gym locker to avoid errant flying dragons, are frequently depants'd during volleyball in gym class, and unfortunately get boners at the most innapropriate of times. They enjoy fun little games like, "look mom I can balance a chair on my face!" and also "Hey dad, watched me eat fire!" noone beats them at grand theft auto and they seemingly all wind up together working for a company that makes maps. They are task masters but also extreme slackers, they masturbate chronically, anywhere, for any reason due to their off the chart OCD disorder, have a rare animals as pets such as a ferret or iguana and are crafty with their pets names such as "Sendrak" or "Lomosh" or "Kaymian". And they are always total smartasses, not in the fun way, but in they way that you want to punch their face in or give them the wedgie of legend because they piss you off uncontrollably..

The cyclotourist

They smell funny, kind of like chicken soup and mold with a slight wafting of pachoulli oil after your sense of smell is almost permantely destroyed by their Oderiferous-ness. They normally drive small blue compact cars, if they drive at all.. or even have a drivers liscense, and if they do they don't have insurance which would be "giving in to the man" and tend to be extreme loners stuffing envelopes for money and living with one person and they tend to never have kids, which is a good thing because there is enough of them dishing out hand signals in traffic that no one understands anyway. One up-note about cyclotourists is their prominent facial hair. It's lush thick and usually well overgrown and that's just the women.

The fat guy on the $5,000.00 carbon fiber Wunderbike who weighs 265

I for the life of me do not understand these people and I've truely shared my feelings with my therapist regarding their species. But why? It's as if rolling in a baby pool of crisco just so you could squeeze yourself into a 2 seater Mercedes wasn't enough of an ego boost for you. You have to go out and buy a bike nobody can afford just to show the world that you are "successful". Why not out that forward thought into proactively taking 2 weeks off from cycling... then quit, no one wants to see you show up on a group ride with a bike, clothing and accessories when added up equal the yearly budget for the entire government of easter island, it's called overkill bud. Just like last evenings dinner with the 19 year old stripper your dating, overkill.

Old school mountain biker

This is a formidable character. Intense, devoted, usually wearing comfortable clothing and worn out shoes. They pride themselves on the fact that they Don't need suspension, because they don't make-em like they used to. They have an old purple anodized Manitou converted into a lamp in their living room illuminating a huge Jerry garcia poster as the Grateful dead quitely jam out in the background. They drink alot of beer and justify it with "Beer is a food just like wine only better"
They are pretty hard-headed and argumentative when it comes down to shifters, most go for the old Mountain LX thumb shifters or 8 speed X-ray grip shift as an upgrade, cause their 7 speed thumb shifter work fine with 8 speed, "Cause y'know there's that extra click at the top dude and it's fuckin' rad!" They only ride steel mountain bikes and if they even have a road bike at all, it's probablly a bridestone and yep, it's steel. They buy vintage mountain bike tires on ebay and argue that "the new tread designs are a marketing ploy to get you to buy into corporate bullshit, I mean dude the trails haven't changed so why should I ride anything but white Onza Porcupines?" They have had the same seatpach for over 20 years and it's stapled and bonded together with tubular glue. They eat alot of fallafel and date vegan women. THere are no old school mountain biking women, because they broke up with that dipshit 20 years ago and are now dating the fat guy with the $5,000.00 road bike because he is a solid source of new parts for their triathlon habit they have found which keeps them form having to spend time with the Fat guy on the expensive bike.....

The Roadie

The only "Roadies" I know are very rigid in their ways, their anal-retentiveness is something of legend. They like to argue with motorists more than an average of 1 argument per 6 hour LSD ride. Their waterbottles always look brand new. They make fun of every other type of cyclists they see, even when they aren't riding their bikes. Their main enemy is the roller blader, they have an inherent distrust and hatred for them. Most of their Saturday and Sunday rides are plotted to commence "before any team-in-training assholes start clogging up the bike path" did I mention that they yell alot? Their other natural enemies are the errant unleashed dog, the squirrel and the amelessly wandering unsupervised 4 year old riding a 40lb. bike with mangled training wheels, uncontrollably and violently weaving in a death spiral toward anyone with shaved legs and 23c tires in the middle of the "bikepath". There is no such thing as bikepath, it's a multi use path, but tell them this and you'll be shunned from ever participating in their cultist oriented group rides.
They secretly enjoy ice cream, are usually condescending and elitist in their manner. They lie to their compatriots about owning a mountain bike like they're hiding an std. All of their cycling socks are white and so are their shoes. Eyewear is essential and mandatory on a training ride and their bikes are never ever dirty.

BIke Messenger/Hipster
Where theere's a fad there's the hipster. They enjoy the fixie culture for the same reason they had their genitals peirced, because they "want to be acknowledged for eing unique" well, here's a clue. If you all look alike then it's not so unique, especially the tribal bicep tattoo, my mom has one and she's in her 60's.
These critters set off theft alarms in home depot when they enter due to the unnatural amount of iron in their body due to the required 37 peircing and under the skin armor they posess. Brandings and carvings can also been seen amongst their kind, but usually these are only spotted in the "life partner" crowd which is a small sub group of the hipster/messenger. They shop frequently, eat small amounts of food 'cause god forbid you enjoy say an entire omelette you may not fit into yor cuffed knickered skinny pants.....their musical tastes are the same, which is dominated by bands no one has ever heard let alone heard of, but only they know them, like it's a fucking secret. The Koi fish Tattoo is your main entry into that club, if you have one you're on your way toward hipster stardom, just make sure you pick up your special headgear in the form of a trendy hat that pushes your hair into your eyes making you look not so much as Emo but more like you're s sheepdog and you want people to stare at you and actually find your eyeballs under your hair. It's an attention thing.

Urban extreme rider

This is a also a cult, I hate cults. BMX, mountain bikes with 2.7 street tires on them, it's all backwards to me. These self destructive individuals pride themselves on "go big" and outdoing each other. They are the muscle heads in the gym, they are the traffic light drag racing heroes of our society. If it's not dangerous they aren't interested. Show them a flat rooftop and they willingly hurl themselves off of it with no regard for their own or others safety, their motto? "Life is like a gnarly drop-off, you just gotta go for it and if you don't stick it ah well.... umm, what was I saying?"
Femal urbanists are more or less nonexistant, but they do exist but tend to stay hidden amongst the male urbanists, the males protect them with disassociated passive agressive disinterest. In other words, they ignore the femals which only makes them want to follow them around even more to fight for attention from the cheif urbanist who has recently gone igger and crashed harder then anyone in his cult. He can be uprooted and or overthrown by the old school mountain biker who knows how to ride up and down stairs while doing a bong hit while he is drunk and high on cough medicine. These overthrows are shortlived, because most old school mountain bikers have to bum a ride to the urbanists environment and therefore are left unable to defend their new turf, so they usually are short seated "kings for a day" but ask them about it and they'll stretch that day out into 20 years or so of extreme domination, claiming Flatland riding is way gnarlier than jumping over a 14 foot high chainlink fence with barbed wire. "The curly pig tail mega-whip stall into the Statue of Liberty" is their claim to fame. and it can only be done on a black Haro Master with pink mags and white tires. Some of them, a small select few can breakdance and have been seen doing the robot dance behind closed doors for it is now frowned upon in public.

The 24 hour endurance mountain biker
I literaly do not know where this species has come from or why they even still exist. I affectionately look upon the 24 hour team or solo mountain biker for that matter as the Nymphomaniac of the cycling world. Their motto? "If a little is good, 24 hours of it must be fucking awesome!" A race in their mind is like a cosmic gangbang of epic proportions. It is planned months ahead, there is intense training and hydration therapy, there isspecific intervals set aside for practicing eating or multitasking on the bike wihch is kind of like a double team add drinking and eating and well.. there you have it the on the bike double team is in full effect. You are being slammed around trying to hold onto somthing that is moving around underneath you as you try to stick things into your mouth avoiding injury to your ganital area or skull. You are attached to the bike similarly to being handcuffed to the bed posts but with your feet, you are halucinating, thirsty and tired but you just can't stop you have to have MORE, NOW! There are others to out do. Competition is feirce, pereniums have gone numb hours ago.. just one more lap......one more lap...
Like I said it's like a cosmic gangbang for the 24 hour mountain biker and they love it and pride themselves on walking funny for 2 weeks after their race, they brag like seasoned whores standing on the corner comparing war stories.

The Single Speed mountain biker
SS mountain bikers are never to be confused with the fixie/hipster species, agreed they do ride one gear, though each are entirely different in their approach to not only the bike itself, but why they have chosen to ride one gear, or "One Fucking Gear"
As once told to me by an innovative and cagey Single Speed mountain biker, "it's simply about never being in the wrong gear..."
Hmm, what about the hills?o.k. those hills, well if you set your bike up to allow you to execute minimal off of the bike time or dismounting per say,you should be able to ride the majority of your chosen terrain. I have experienced this (though admittedly poorly for I am not very string anymore) on rides with folks who are riding as many as 27 or even dare I say it 30 gears on their mountain bikes... !!!!
Having gearing on your mountain bike forces your hand, calls your bluff, makes you in a way, over react to your riding environment versus just riding through up or over something. The next logical step if you are geared too high is , dismount and take to foot. It's less complicated and places you back in the pilots seat instead of just being the propulsion that makes the complex machine go forward leaving the workto be done by the suspension and the gears, you are less of the equation. The SS gives you back your POWER!! to quote Dirk Diggler, "Nobody is the boss of me, I am the Boss of me got it Jack?!?!" YOu become your own master again.
But Single speeders on the whole are a finitely unique albeit small populationand have chosen their destiny not settled for it. They ride fast, they ride gritty, they ride with a sense of purpose. Their enemies are few but very specific to them independently and they are;
The long flat road,
The long non technical downhill
And the ever dreaded grueling fire road climb from hell.
These things are specific to the SS'erbecause with just one gear you can not go as fast as someone with higher gears than you can on a flat road or non technical downhill, so you bide your time to strike again when the going gets more technical or tougher, geared wimps shift to an easier gear wherein the SS just rides that higher gear and catches her/his prey which is always the rider in front of her/him.
the fire road issue is more of boredom issue than anything, grinding out a rattly/stoney climb in one gear is about as much fun as putting cologne on your balls. It's just not something you needto do, but if tthere's fire road there's probablly climbing and boredom.

The cyclocrosser

Cyclocross enthusiasts are definately unique, they're like the Impala of the animal world, they go as fast as they can for a short period of time and excel at cheering each other on. Their bicycles are also unique though drastically individual, some of them even break the international code of right rear left front, when it comes to setting up their breaks, they reverse them!! can you believe these bastards, how dare they? But it is for good reason or so some say, I don't agree with it, or maybe I just don't switch up my brakes because everyone else does, I'm pretty stupid and I suck at cyclocross.
They like to run funny and carry their bicycles on their shoulder or back or like a stolen guitar amplifier. It;s like they stole that bike and are riding away from a horde of bike police. Some of them can dismount their bicycles at an unusually high rate of speed, into a full out sprint then hop over literally ma made barriers then jump back onto their bikes and not even crush their testicles or injure their pelvic bones, it's fascinating to watch. They are like the floor traders at the NYSE, they sprint in and out of things immediate on the intentof conquering the next task. The harder the task the more they want to do it, sort of like a jack Russell playing fetch with a 16lb. bowling ball they attack that bowking ball face first nearly killing themselves in the process, but somehow someway, they do it and look forward to doing it.. Again and again!!! Someof these crazy bastards even bring 2 bikes to a race just so they can keepdoing it if they damage their first bike, and they have code names for their bikes, "the A bike" and "the B bike" holy shit that's insane. They wear very very garish clothing, Liberace and Elton have reportedly gained momentum in the fashion world over the years seceretly attending Cyclocross races in Belgium, Italy and France, borrowing ideas for wardrobe changes during their most noted concerts....Like pigs in a stye they are best left to play in groups of 3 or more to play in the mud, where they can amuse themselves for hours on end, repetitively practicing their technique while talking to themselves while riding around in circles like a frazy person wandering down the street reciting Calculus and drawing on a white board that isn't there....
They are generally attracted to like minded people, who have a penchant for wearing white just to see how dirty they can get it. They also bring unusual ointments and remedies to a race, that contain posessed chemicals such as warming lotions, long sticks that they bang and rub on their bodies presumablly to alleviate muscle cramping, they always have gelpacks and coffee with them and they never talk negatively about each other, because they believe that their strength is in their numbers, themore the merrier, the muddier the merrier.... they're pretty much totally crazy.

You got the Touch!

2007-10-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

Dirk Diggler was speaking to me when he sung that song, I know it..... yeah o.k.
After projectile vomiting all over my handlebars at Granogue, the sweet smellof dried redbull and bile was becoming a shop conversation peice,more so than my usual non-attention loving self consciousness can deal with.
I tried Deda tape.. it's awful.... at least for the east coast where we get HUmidity and umm... rain? I almost killed myselfstanding out of the saddle to ride to the beer distributor.... later Deda..
So i'm currentlt enjoying a nice love affair with salsa Goma Grey tape.. when it gets wet it gets.. get this folks... TACKY and grippy... woooo what a fucking concept, I wanna personally pat the ceo on her/his back. this is genuinely nice tape for hands like mine.
I have HUGE gigantor, mongolithic, palm a basketball hands. It was a parlortricvk when I was 10 yeah, palm a basketball.....fun, but it got boring... until eddie vanhalen proclamied he could reach the 12thfrett from the 5th frett... shit I was doing that at 11 dude... now with my hands becoming mre arthritic every hour, I can safely reach the 12th frett after popping 6 bufferin and chasing the down with soe hornitos and flying dog double dog............but dang,I'll take what I have left, cause i can still play guitar a little even though I boring and repetitious at times... BUT!! at least those times are good times eh?

Dog Magnet

2007-10-25T14:29:00.000-07:00

a steaming pile of shit even in the dead of winter will attract a fly or several, a meowing cat in heat perched in a window attracts suitors.... I atracts dogs. Don;t know why, don't know how, don;t know for what or which reason, don't care. Dogs are mans best friend in a purely metaphysical way if you want to get all nag champa about it. I have a thing for animals, maybe it;s because one of mymost VIVID childhood memories was crawling under the chicken coop to help Sheba birth her 14 pup litter of German sheppherds in the moist fallmorning air as the sun came up. hearing her yelp oddly woke me out of bed, so I put on my barn clothes ( I was 6 years old) went outside and saw her lying in the ground next to the chicken coop yelping. I layed down next to her on the cool damp ground and wrapped myself around her as much as I could being I was just a little kid. she banged her head into my nose ( breaking it for the first time yay!) it hurt, but I loved Sheba and would not let her lay there in pain. See, I didn't understand what was happening I was too young. She wriggled away from me and crawled under the chicken coop where i dug out a cool hiding spot to hide and play army men with my dad and sister and uncles and family friends she beckined me to go with her.... as the sun came up, she cried loudly as the first fuzzy puppy came flopping out if her.. I calmly but loudly bellowed "Mommy, Daddy!! ?" they cameout in a few minutes after I took off my C.P.O. jacket to lay the puppies in instinctively, (instincts are why we are still here.....) Dheba just kept dropping puppies around me as she paced back and forth under the chicken coop.I kept collecting them, kept keeping them warm, blowing warm kid breath on them until they squeaked and cried... once she was finished shooting puppies at me. she just looked at me, one of those really deeplooks a dog can deliver when either it wants to kill you or it loves you beyond any communication we could understand or transcend... and layed down on my jacket near the puppies. I saw her boobies, I just started lining up the puppies near them and she cleaned them, nudged them toward her nipples. all survived, all grewand were given away. Sheba was attached to me. when I was dirty she cleaned my face and hands. when I brushed my hair,I brushed hers first. we even shared my food. I don;t remember what happened to Sheba.
I met some nice dogs after my meltdown/crash and burn at Granogue, ran intoa new dog friend from charmcity. Someone commented on myone-ness with a pitbull... I love dogs.

the annoyances which consume me

2007-10-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

the ultimate question
How do you sit on that seat (the unicanitor).
well, it's easy, swing a leg over and sit on it, it feels nice.Maybe not as nice as sitting on say, Anjelina Jolee's face, but I'll take it anyway.
Besides,everyone is different, what we are looking NOT to feel. See, the saddle comfort debacle or debate depends on which MS150 veteran you get to argue with, is closely related to who is more of a bad ass Bobafet, or Jangofet. Really, crunchy or creamy, KY or astroglide.. same argument, same answers. I like the unicanitor because I don;t know it's there until I accidentally try to use it as a buttplug during a remount or panic striken bailout as I say goodbye to my testicles and handsome face (both worthy of an accidental buttplugging via bike saddle) which is technically named or called "The T-bone" beause you wish you were choking on a t-bone steak rather than having a nifty skinny italian wunderkind saddle half way up your ass thanks to a handfull of chamoise cream to help it along.....
I digress, being I like one saddle you like another, no need to make fun of my plastic fantastic old cinelli's but if you want to, go ahead if it makes you feelmmore secure about spending $150.00 on something I could probablly kill small animals with.

talking gear ratios

Y'know.. fuck you.I hate this kind of conversation because it's one-sided, full of contemptand seedy sarcasm. Please don't misunderstand me, I love discussing things even arguing a good point now and then..maybe more now than then, o.k.....but why drill me about gear ratios It's like asking me to point out saturn or Rigel in the sky, they all look the same to me ask someone else let me drink my beer in peace.

the old, "Looks like someone is doing well"

hmm, interesting. Just becauae I work 100 hours every week, have 100's of bikes to fix on a daily basis, never spend quality time with my wife or kids nor friends, drink beer at work ( more like self medicating as my fondness grows.... ) am fat, have no fitness, still ca;t grow chest hair to save myself from maybe one cold winter, and have more bills to pay (as any bike shop owner does) than you'd ever guess..... doesn't make me the registrar elect for Mayor of Havertown. The thing is, I work alot, I don't take a paycheck from my business, I'm pretty much burning the candle at both ends keeping it from burning too fast by moistening it with beer, chamois creme, and gyros from the local pizza parlor. The only thing that keepsme in this game is my love for the sport and my pride for my community. Also, I do not fit in with the cubicle crowd. I don't understand what's sowrong about complimenting someone on a good fart, racist joke, or sweater that makes their juggs look like birthday cake.... I might make it to lunch then it would be out the door......
I do this because I know how and Ienjoy it, making money in the bike business is a losing proposition. It;s like golf, one good swing and you're booking another tee-time.....

Roadies who make fun of Mountain bikers
I didn't want togo down this path, but I feel pulled as if a tractor beam has me in it's death grip (think star wars episode 4. But pretty much this takes the cake for making my blod boil and my fists clench. what is wrong with you? why ridicule someone because they like to ride fat tires in the woods. If I am correct you are more of a moron because you like riding with cars going 4 times faster than you 14 inches away from your face and you think it's no big deal. Leave the mountain bikers alone. The day you grant yourself some fun, get ahlod of some fat tires and meet up with amountain biker for an afternoon of fun and friendliness. There's no fould balls in mountain biking as in road riding. The protocals never cross streams and if they did, well, I'd have to take up bicycle polo fulltime fromthen on and abandon all ties to the cycling world as I know it....
Ihatemy spaceb ar....

Good luck or bike vs. car chicken

2007-10-25T11:14:00.000-07:00

Good luck

I ride my bike to work pretty much everyday, so big deal I know it's not what completes me it's about liking to ride my bike to work everydayand I do so bacause of that.
What stymies me is why the same people I see nearly every morning haven't gotten used to seeing me at the same intersections nearly every day...? It's surpassed puzzling in the definitave form. So, why honk at me everyday expecting me to dart out in front of your Buick Park avenue as you speed through a school zone putting on your makeup, smoking a cigarette and reloading the batteries in your dildo? I'mnot particularly fond of being accused of potentially being stupid to interrupt your morning ritual.....I like watching you swerve toward me as I stand one foot on the curb, adjacent to the traffic drifting toward me invading my space, I can tell what you had for breakfast you are so close to me. It's a waste of energy for you and me, because I'm pretty bored with giving you the finger everyday, I may change my retalitory tactics to mooning if need be, I grant you fair warning.

I feel reborn: Thank you bikesnobNYC

2007-10-24T20:41:00.000-07:00

I had to post this from bikesnobnyc blog....he's a genius

Monday, October 22, 2007
'Cross My Heart and Hope to Die: A BSNYC Cyclocross Primer

Cyclocross is the opposite of sex--if you're doing it right it hurts, and it's only fun before and after. In my time racing cyclocross I’ve learned some tips for dealing with that nasty in-between part, which I present to you herewith. I won’t say they’ll make you a better racer--the way I race puts the “can’t” back in “cantis”--but I guarantee they’ll make you a better loser:

Know When And Where The Race Is

Eddy Merckx famously said, "The Tour de France is won in bed." Cyclocross races, however, are not won in bed, since misreading the schedule, sleeping in, and arriving after your race has begun tends to winnow your chances down considerably. Furthermore, as I've cited before, Woody Allen once said, "90% of success is just showing up." Of course, that still leaves a 10% window for failure, since I've showed up at cyclocross races and not succeeded innumerable times. I will say though that 100% of failure is not showing up, because it's tough to be competitive when your race is starting and you're 30 miles from the venue because you Mapquested the wrong address.

Don't Pre-Ride the Course

Yes, you read that right. While this bit of advice flies counter to every bit of cyclocross wisdom you're likely ever to hear, I've always believed that courting common wisdom is the path to complacency. I find that going in cold and flying blind can take the edge off the searing pain of those first few laps, since you're too busy being surprised to focus on how awful you feel. And dreading that terrible run-up for a half a lap can be demoralizing, while the shock of suddenly discovering it can give you that extra shot of adrenaline to get you over it. Complete unfamiliarity with the course can turn a killing field into a haunted hayride teeming with fun-filled surprises, thrills and spills at every turn.

Do Not Have a Pit Bike

This is another counterintuitive tactic. If you’re like me, a crash or a mechanical problem comes as sweet relief. It’s like a fire drill in school during a test. Suddenly, the pressure’s off and there’s no more pressure to perform. On the other hand, having another bicycle in the pit so that you can make a quick bike change and continue to race only expands the vast horizon of opportunity for you to lose. It’s like getting one of those flu shots they give out at the office—how are you going to call in sick for a week when everybody knows you’re immune? Never squander your inventory of excuses.

Get a Bad Starting Position

There are few things as embarrassing as getting a great starting position only to drop through the pack and completely fall apart on the first lap. Not only do your fellow racers notice, but so do the spectators. It's like you're an Alka-Seltzer and the race is a big glass of water, and everybody gets to watch your effervescent, frothy demise. But if you start the race in the back, you have nowhere to go but up. If you finish DFL, you can blame your start position. If you finish strong, you can point out how many places you had to make up and how high you would have placed if you'd started up front. Everybody hates a sandbagger, but everybody loves an underdog.

Constantly Re-evaluate Your Goals

As in everyday life, it’s important to rationalize and to temper your expectations. Certainly you should start the race expecting to finish well. However, if you cling to that expectation you’ll only be disappointed. So take the time each lap to analyze your position and re-structure your goals. If you find yourself slipping back, try to keep the guy behind you from passing you. If he does, try to hold his wheel. If you can’t, repeat with the next guy. When there’s nobody left, just wait, because eventually you’ll get to experience the thrill of battling the race leader as you try to keep from being lapped. And if all else fails, comfort yourself with your superiority over the other riders in areas outside of racing. Sure, the guy who passed you just then was stronger than you, but there’s no way he’s better at cooking eggs than you. You’re the Egg Master.

“Chunk” the Race

You may have heard of the memorization technique called “chunking,” wherein you break large chunks of information up into smaller parts to make them easier to remember. Well, you should do that in cyclocross races as well. While a ‘cross race seems short and appears to unfold faster than a Dahon on a Friday afternoon, it can feel like an eternity if you’re actually in one. So like an alcoholic or someone getting paid by the hour to retile a bathroom, focus on completing one tiny section at a time. Like life, if you think about how much more you have left you can find yourself overwhelmed. Another “chunking” trick you can take from life is picking some small section of the course and convincing yourself you enjoy it. That way, you have something to look forward to each lap. It’s like hating your job but looking forward to lunch.

Ignore Your Surroundings

As the race leaves you behind like a club-footed tuba player in a marching band, try not to pay attention to the announcer or the crowd. The announcer’s spirited narration of the battle at the front will only serve to remind you how far back you are, especially when he starts describing the action on sections of the course you’ve just completed. Similarly, the crowd can be inadvertently discouraging as well. At first they’ll cheer excitedly. But as you slip back the cheers become gradually less animated and more conciliatory, until they eventually devolve into the type of “you can do it!” sentiments generally reserved for “special” people, and then finally disappear altogether. Then, it’s all about not getting passed by the riders warming up for the next race.

Have Fun!

That’s right, this is supposed to be fun. So try to remember that as you struggle to keep your perfectly-cooked eggs down.

Posted by bikesnobnyc